Extension Belt

Andy Cohen talks Restaurant Wars, Revolutionary Road, and his airbourne aquaintance.

What did you think of "Restaurant Wars" last night? If you've ever wondered about my pal - and Andy's Blog Regular - Liza, she appeared in last night's show saying her "amuse was bouched." Or her "bouche was amused." I can't remember, but THAT was Liza!

It always stinks being executive chef in the challenge and you just never know how it's going to go. I wonder why Radhika decided to do front of house, given what a great chef she's been. Don't forget that this is the challenge where Tre went in season three and that resulted in a near-riot in front of 30 Rock and Craft.

I am assuming you all have heard by now that the competition is heading to New Orleans for the final two episodes. We shot last week and it was incredible having Emeril and a fine group of New Orleans superstars join us. It is drama-rama and I can't wait for you to see it.

I flew back from Louisiana on Saturday and was seated next to quite a large gal who was too big to buckle her seatbelt. "No problem," the syrupy southern flight attendant chirped, "we'll get you an extension belt!" I had never heard that term and now I'm obsessed.

Right before landing, I struck up a convo with the extension belted-gal, who told me she was from the sticks of Louisiana and that it was not only her first time in NYC, but her first airplane ride. She was having her knee operated on and spending a few days in town before the operation. I fell in love and decided it was my mission to make her time in Manhattan a dream come true.

I was telling her to look out our window because we had a perfect view of the city. She told me that the view out the other side actually looked better. I took a breath. "No look over here," I pleaded. "Here's the Empire State Building!" She told me she didn't know what that is. I fell a little more in love. We were about to land and I told her that we were about to hit the ground running. We laughed at landing. I wondered what our babies might look like.

"What do you want to do in New York City?" I asked. "What would be your dream thing to do?" She said she couldn't think of anything. She said she heard that they might have a brochure at her hotel that could tell her what some of the sights were. I started turning on her. She was coming to New York and didn't have half a thought about what to see or do?

In a last ditch-effort towards kindness, I asked her if there was a TV show she'd want to see. She said no. I asked her if she thought about going by Rockefeller Center and looking in the TODAY window. She told me she didn't know what that was. I went into a lengthy description of the Rockefeller Center, the rink, the tree, and the TODAY show, but it was as though I was telling her about calculus. No hint of recognition.

"Katie Couric?!?" I screamed. Nothing. Crickets. No response.

She finally told me that she wanted to see the deli that was on Letterman. I gave her the address. I also told her how to buy discount tickets for a show.

I asked her if she had warm clothes or a coat. "Just this windbreaker!" she laughed. "Is it cold!?"

OK here's what: I just don't get along with dummies. It is dumb to not check the weather before you go somewhere. The love affair was over before it started. I wished her good luck.

Last night I watched "Revolutionary Road" and I am stunned this morning that Leonardo Dicaprio didn't get nominated for an Oscar. What an incredible performance. I don't get it. Loved Sam Mendes' work and Kate Winslet and the soundtrack was beautiful. If you haven't read the book, DO! It's incredible.

CAB REPORT: Yes, I folded today and decided to take a cab. It was cold and I was lazy and wanted to blog in the comfort of 3H83. My sweet Pakistani driver (name obscured by paper) kept calling me "boss" and telling me that he REALLY, REALLY, REALLY had to go to the bathroom and he did not have a place to go take care of himself. Not only did I not know what to tell my friend, as his "boss" I felt nothing short of impotent. I almost brought him up to Bravo but he said there was nowhere to park in Rock Center. Oh Lord I hope he found a spot, and didn't muss up ole' 3H83. Tomorrow I am back to the subway. I can't deal with my employee's poopyprobs.

 

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