Not because she's embarked on the journey of a lifetime on "Dancing with the Stars". Not because she's married to Harry Hamlin. I certainly am not mired in nostalgia for her character "Billie" from "Days of our Lives". And, though I am crazy for it for the wrong reasons, not because "Soap Talk" is the only show on television with the energy of an infomercial - that's actually not an infomercial.
It's the LIPS.
What are they made of? Where did they come from? What do they feel like, taste like and smell like? How much money goes into their care and maintenance? What is it like to be around Lisa Rinna's lips?
Even when she's dancing her butt off or telling a revealing story about her home life to her "Soap Talk" co-host Ty Treadway (that's his name, see), I cannot take my eyes off those gamey mouthpaws. I want to grab them hard and never let go!
I saw "Match Point" last week and it's a really good morality tale and arguably Woody Allen's best movie in a decade. But it, too, is all about lips. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Scarlett Johansson have two of the most perfect, stunning sets of lips you'll ever see. Even if you're not a Woody Allen fan, it's worth the ten bucks just to watch those gorgeous smackers projected several stories high. It's especially fascinating to watch how Mr. Rhys-Meyer's lips come together when he closes his mouth. They are so plump that when they meet, the fleshy upper lip folds into a blatant oddly horizontal crease! Bravo, JRM!
Once you start paying attention to people's lips it's hard to stop.
Jessica Simpson was rumored recently to have done some form of lip augmentation. US magazine reported that her makeup artist talked her into it as a way to help her get over Nick. It certainly added an extra pout and focal point to her face, but may I also recommend therapy and time to heal her wounds?
Nancy Grace's lips are like a very painted and incredibly expressive animated world unto themselves. Her producers might consider the following sweeps stunt: put black-light lipstick on Ms. Grace's lips, turn off the lights in the studio, and broadcast a "lips only" version of Nancy Grace on her soapbox! Say Grace!
Oprah says she never puts just one color lipstick on hers. She blends up to three colors. As the years have passed and the show has slowly taken over the world, Oprah's lips more and more have become a sideshow unto themselves. Why go to a museum when there's a Van Gogh on that lady every day at 4?
The fact is that lips are white-hot and it's about time that people get a little bit of credit for them. Certainly Mr. JRM and Ms Scarlett J deserve SAG awards simply for their ballet of la lip. And no matter how talented a dancer she is or isn't, surely it's worth voting for Lisa on "Dancing with the Stars" just to make those beefy gills queen of the dance hall.