My flight from L.A. on Friday departed at 8 am and wound up being 12 hours because of weather in NYC and a re-fuel pitstop in Detroit. I was at the end of my tether. My flight attendant had ratty hair and a button that said: "Smiles will be Returned!" Coincidentally, my ex Morgan (see Friday's blog) was seated three rows ahead of me on the plane, which was helpful as he passed me half a xanax in hour two of the Detroit refueling. Deplaning, I ran smack into a white-pantsuit clad Julie Chen, looking as fresh as a lady in a white pantsuit should, wearing no signs of airplane trauma. I'd missed "Big Brother All Stars" Thursday night, so she gave me the dirt on Nakomis' eviction as we walked the eighty miles in the American Terminal I ragged on in this space a few weeks ago. I was so rapt with "Big Brother All Stars"-level attention that I cut my toe on the escalator and my left-footed white Havaianas flip-flop became a blood-red flip-flop. That's what I get for wearing flip-flops on the plane, I guess. My friend Kari was visiting for the weekend from St. Louis and patiently waited for my delayed flight in my apartment. She watched as I scrubbed my flip-flop and tried to pick up the pieces of the very delayed night with a late night artichoke and vodka snack at Florent.
Saturday morning I was on the Today Show with Campbell Brown. I decided that since it was WEEKEND Today, it would be perfectly suitable to wear flip-flips, bloodied and bandaged big-toe be damned. Is there anything more weekendy than the Saturday 8:30 half hour of the Today Show, and so don't flip-flips go hand in hand with that vibe? Maybe, maybe not. I was chastised by Bruce for exposing my dogs on national television and my dad made mention of it. My Mom, on the other hand, was obsessed with a protruding vein in my neck which apparently almost derailed the interview for her.
A man called Murray emailed the blog moments after the segment aired and said, "Did you actually get up this morning and think: "OK I am going on national television so I will wear flip-flops! Gimme a break you have shoes -- wear them next time. You weren't doing a spot for beach footwear that I missed were you?" No Murray, but it was WEEKEND Today and what's more beachy than that?
Someone named Mike from Vermont emailed and said "....it was all working for you: the polo, chinos and great flip-flops..." Thank you Mike, you are a man of great taste and style.
We drove to the Hamptons where Saturday night we attended a benefit dinner for Jessica Seinfeld's "Baby Buggy" Charity held at chez Seinfeld. The organization (found at babybuggy.org), in case you haven't heard, is dedicated to collecting and redistributing infant gear and clothing to families in need. They've redistributed almost two million pieces of baby stuff to people who need it! The man of the house ribbed me mercilessly for wearing flip-flops to the party and said that, with my busted toe, there was really never better a time for me to be wearing closed-toe shoes.OK Murray, someone in the Hamptons agrees with you.
Sunday afternoon Bruce and I were slowly walking from my roadside driveway to the stairs down to my house when someone screamed "homo" out of their car at us! We were harassed in Sag Harbor! We quickly began debating which one of us was being called the homo. Our attacker had yelled "ho-MO" not "ho-MOS", so he was speaking singularly! So which one of us was it? Though I was in mid-sentence and potentially flailing my hands, I would bet solid money that it was Bruce. In the meantime, I am indeed wearing the white flip-flops to work today.