Hi from Brazil

Andy Cohen shares stories from his Miss Universe Pageant rehearsals.

I am fully enmeshed in the full mesh pouch that is Brazil, or as I might say it tonight (on NBC at 9 ET) on the "Miss Universe Pageant," "BraZEEEEEEEEEEEL". You see, I've been rehearsing all weekend which essentially means screaming the names of 89 countries into a microphone. Fun!

Sao Paulo is freaking huge. Traffic is nuts and the people are intensely, awesomely hot. They all look like they're gonna bust the seams of their clothes in one way or another -- only the best ways. Everybody has an ass for miles.  

The women competing for "Miss Universe" are gorgeous and funny. In Hour 1 of rehearsal I mispronounced Curacao and all the 89 contestants laughed at me. So that was amusing (kind of.) There don't seem to be any other country names for me to screw up.  

Miss Montenegro is a sassy affair -- she came up to me on Saturday with a question, which was, "Why are you so short?". Um thank you very little, Miss Montenegro. I am 5'9" and that is what I would call average. 

Waaaaah. Miss Montenegro made me cry! 

The nightlife here is... I don't have to tell you how fantastic it is actually; you are all very smart people.  

Oh and did I mention that along with the pageant, Beverly Hills is on tonight?


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