My Mazel of the day goes to Adam Lambert. He is set to make history tomorrow by becoming the first out gay performer to achieve a number one on the Billboard 200 charts. Mazel Adam! Bring it home tomorrow and then we’ll see you here in the Clubhouse on Thursday.

“It’s time for my Mazel of the day and it’s so heartwarming that my heart might actually explode. Not only did Kerry Kuck, a blind man living in Denver, complete a marathon this past weekend, he did it with diabetes. And if that isn’t enough to make you tear up, his running partner was an Iraq war veteran named David Hagburg. And the altitude in Denver is, like, super impossible to run in so good for you man for making all of us feel very lazy. Mazel, he finished a marathon blind!”

“My Mazel of the day, it’s time for that, it goes to someone who has cracked me up every Saturday night for seven years, Kristen Wiig. Last night she said goodbye as Mick Jagger serenaded her, she said goodbye to all her costars, she’s one of my favorite comedians of all time. I look forward to her movies, TV shows, and whatever else she does have up her hilarious sleeve. I love her so much!”

“My Mazel of the day goes to someone who’s been there for me from day one. There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful for her. It’s Mother’s Day, she’s my amazing mom, she’s also not too shabby of a bartender. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! Thank you for being with us this week all week, I know this wasn’t your favorite thing to do but you did a great job and I have a surprise for you. This Sunday my mom and I ,for Mother’s Day, are going to be on the cover of ‘Parade’ magazine and she hasn’t seen it but this is it mom.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to our President Barack Obama, who today suddenly showed up on all of our TVs and announced that he supports same sex marriage. It doesn’t change what happened in North Carolina yesterday but in the words of VP Joe Biden, ‘this is a big f-ing deal.’ Gay people are people and all people deserve to feel this happy. Look how happy they are, I want to feel that happy.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to yet another Youtube version of Gotye’s ‘Someone That I Used to Know.’ Folks, this is what happens when hipsters spawn children. Baby hipsters. Was that a Volvo commercial? Who better to lip sync about a painful break up than prepubescent kids. I have no idea where they live but I’m pretty sure we all know it’s Portland.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to someone very special to many people, but especially to Anderson, who conducted what nobody realized would be a final interview with him just last week. I’m talking about Meow, the 39 pound rescue cat, who I’m sad to report, has passed away. And though his nine lives were cut short, there is not a lint roller big enough to ever erase the huge impression he left on all of us. Today, it’s more than a Mazel. It’s a giant Meowzal."

“My Mazel of the day goes to Teresa. She was fired from ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ tonight along with one other. But she went further than many people expected her to, she almost went to the finale, which is like next week. She even went further than NeNe did, NeNe quit after 10 episodes, Teresa went all the way until now. I just want to congratulate her on an incredible run. She did a great job, she didn’t flip that boardroom table, she had Donald in the palm of her hand, I think. ”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Rachel Bird. She is an Iowa high school senior, who invited Tim Tebow to her prom via Twitter, and when he didn’t respond, she made a life-size cardboard cutout of him and went to the prom with it. Here she is, here’s a photo of it, look that’s so cute. I say good for you and I have a feeling she got as much action from that cardboard cutout as she would from the real thing IF you know what I’m saying.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to my eyes for surviving what happened during last night’s After Show with Tamra Barney. There was a lot of boob talk because Tamra recently got her implants out and then...this happened to me. Thank you, eyes. You may be a little wonky, but when the going gets tough, you’re okay.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Jessica Simpson’s baby! After the longest gestation in the history of uteri, that baby finally escaped it’s mother. Here they are, we have the exclusive first picture, here they are on their first walk together! The giant baby is carrying her mom!”

“My Mazel of the day and it goes to Miss Christina Aguilera. Her flying saucer hat is one of my favorite things in the world. But tonight she proved there’s no end to her experiments in head ornamentation, this is her tonight in her tiara on ‘The Voice.’ I love it and would be happy to wear it some time”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Jimmy Kimmel! It seems like Jimmy believes pot should be legalized, maybe, and at last night’s White House Correspondent’s dinner, he called the President out on recent crackdowns and took an informal poll to prove his point. Remember, this is like the most high powered room you can imagine. One guy raised his hand and you know what? I bet he was lying.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to the best local TV commercial I’ve ever seen for anything. Thank you very much Roller Kingdom. I was going to join a gang and shoot people, but now I think I’ll just shoot the duck.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to the people at the Cats Cradle Animal Shelter who saved Corky the cat born with backwards legs. The cat was about to be euthanized and they helped to give him new legs.”

“My Mazel of the day, it goes to Barbra Streisand. She turns seventy years old today! What do you say to the woman who is everything other than Happy Birthday, gorgeous. I want to come to your farm with your barn.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to my pal Giuliana Rancic who told the world today she and her husband Bill are going to have a baby! Giuliana has been through a lot this year and I couldn’t be happier for her. Everybody loves a pregnancy, which is maybe why Jessica Simpson remains so clenched up.”

“Tonight’s Mazel goes to Cher. Not for surprising Chaz at the GLAAD Awards in LA last night, but for doing it in a huge afro! Thank you, Cher. We need more hairpieces from you. Continue please, I beg you!”

“My Mazel of the day goes to John and Doreen. They celebrated their platinum wedding anniversary this week. They’ve been together for 70 years, they look better than ever, congrats John and Doreen! Extra props for their fashion choices, I’m especially loving John’s fanny pack necklace combo.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Mr. Dick Clark, who died at age 82 today. The man was an absolute media mogul- hosting, producer, he did it all. I’ll always remember him most fondly as the guy I spent every Saturday morning with back when ‘American Bandstand was on. The world is a little less rockin’ today. So long, Dick Clark, we will miss you.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Darlene Mayes. I’m not saying it’s right that she allegedly ran a drug ring, but after being arrested with four pounds of pot, $276,000 in cash, and a semi automatic weapon, it is safe to say this 73 year old lady shattered the glass ceiling in a male dominated field. Plus she’s kind of adorable, I’d love to get my hands on some cookies baked by that memaw...and I would buy pot from her.”

“It’s time for my Mazel of the day and it goes to Tupac Shakur who appeared at the Coachella Music Festival, 15 years after he died, via hologram. I was never cool enough to be a big Tupac fan but it did look really amazing to me and it gives me hope that I’ll soon be able to see Jem and the Holograms in concert which would be really really outrageous."

“My Mazel of the day goes to brand new Real Housewife of New York Carole Radziwill for already causing Housewife-like waves before the show even premiers June 4th. She wore this nude illusion sheer dress to the TV Land Awards the other night. Mazel for Carole for getting her head and other body parts in the game early. Everybody knows I love a nude illusion. ”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Sweet Brown for surviving an apartment fire, and in the process, becoming America’s new sweetheart in the process. Ain’t nobody got time for bronchitis! Sweet Brown, if you’re watching, call me. I just want to know you is all.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to one of my favorite people and close friends - Ricki Lake who got married in a secret ceremony this weekend! She’s going to be on the show in a few weeks so I’m sure she’ll explain then why my invitation never arrived. At any rate, congrats Ricki! Mazel!”

“My Mazel of the day goes to this guy, he loves Kanye West so much he had to make a video about it and now I love him. Mister, do not kill yourself, you have more swag than most men would know what to do with!”

“My Mazel of the day goes to CBS News legend, Mike Wallace who died last night. Long before I ever landed in this chair, I dreamed of being a serious newsman, and I can’t describe to you how much it meant to me, in my days at CBS, to be in the presence of a journalist like Mike Wallace. Nobody could make an interview subject sweat the way he did. We need more like Mike Wallace and he will be sorely missed.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to one of the sweetest guys I know. Last night I was after partying with everybody from that show and I mentioned I’d forgotten to eat during all the hullabaloo. Joe Gorga himself hooked me up with some pizza, he brought me slices of pizza. So I gotta give it up to Joe Gorga.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to this young Hawaiian boy who turned a face-plant into a glorious flourish. This may be my favorite moment in sports history.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Grace Food Company for their ad that I spotted on the Manhattan subway today selling ‘Mannish Water” ram/goat flavored soup! I’ve never tasted it, but it’s already my fave! I checked their website and they also sell cock-flavored soup, but uh what does that mean?"

“My Mazel of the day goes to this surprise guest at an Israeli basketball game. Who knew they had basketball in Israel and mascots like that? ”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Congressman Bobby Rush from Illinois. He wore a hoodie sweatshirt on the floor of congress to bring attention to the Trayvon Martin killing. He was in violation of the dress code which stipulates no hats or overcoats on the house floor and he was kicked out. I liked it that a congress person was willing to make a scene for what’s right. Mazel Bobby Rush.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to a highly anticipated celebrity birth. No, not Jessica Simpson, that baby is still up in there after four years of pregnancy and I’m upset by it. I’m talking about Mtai and Serafina the two lion cubs at the St. Louis Zoo. Mazel lion babies! Jessica’s baby please come out now before your mommy rips in half, I’m very worried about her.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to the hosts of The Talk. I’m not sure why, but today they were all dressed as the characters from The Hunger Games - including my pal, Julie Chen, the Chen-bot. She was dressed as Caesar Flickerman! I like to feel like I’m on acid at two in the afternoon and that did the trick!”

“My Mazel of the day goes to this Japanese contestant who set a new world record for Splits Racing. Chafe alert! This clip makes my Kegels hurt and I don’t even have any.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to something that has become my most treasured St. Patrick’s Day tradition. This local news story about a leprechaun sighting in Mobile, Alabama. It never gets old! ”

“My Mazel of the day goes to the best thing I saw all day, this picture of J.Lo on the set of her latest music video next to her stunt double...this dude. That’s her stunt double and it’s a dude! I just love looking at it!”

“My Mazel of the day goes to friend of the Clubhouse, Sean Avery. Last night on our After Show he off handily say he was retiring from hockey. So I thought he was kidding, his agent thought he was kidding, but today he told ‘The New York Post’ that this is his last season and he’s going to work in advertising. If it’s true Sean, thanks for using our show as your press conference and Mazel on your new gig.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to a family that was kicked off a flight when their toddler threw a tantrum. They went on ‘The Today Show’ this morning to tell their side of the story and for their kids to have a chance to show how well behaved they can be. Wow, I can’t believe they got kicked off a flight for misbehaving. These parents deserve a big fat mazel wrapped in Ambien and dipped in Valium ”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Marie Osmond. who once again proved to be a fountain of talent when she got the case of the giggles and peed her pants onstage during a show on a cruise ship. If there’s one thing about Marie, when you see her live, you never know what URINE for.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to alleged New York City millionaire madame Anna Gristina who is accused of running a $2,000 an hour brothel on the Upper East Side. If she did it, it had to be in her spare time because she’s also a suburban mom of four and an avid rescuer of homesless pigs. I don’t want to know what she did with those pigs but I love me a working woman and she’s been entertaining the hell out of me all week in ‘The New York Post’ and for that, she gets the Mazel.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Newt Gingrich for taking a wee naplet while prepping for this ABC interview.”

“My mazel of the day goes to one of my favorite videos of all time in which KE$HA speaks out in a PSA about clubbing baby seals. I’m glad she’s bringing awareness to this important cause, but part of me feels like she got confused and thinks she’s doing a commercial for a hot new club called ‘Seal.’ And I do feel bad for those seals, seriously.”

“Today’s Mazel goes to Lilly Hartley and Allen Marks marks who set a Guinness World record for greatest combined age of a married couple when they tied the knot this week. She’s 95 and he’s 98, they’ve been living in sin for 18 years- that’s fifthly. But I guess they’re finally ready to settle down, I hope she’s not in trouble. The couple had a two minute civil ceremony followed by a wedding lunch at IHOP. Mazel Lil and Allen and I hop you’re very happy together!”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Lindsay Lohan. Girl, I’m hoping you kill it on SNL this weekend. Second chances, or ten million chances as the case may be, don’t come around much in show biz. I for one am hoping that Lindsay does a great job this Saturday night. I’d say break a leg but it might be hard to break through that ankle monitor.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to mah favorite Monkee, Davy Jones, who passes away today. He was funny and he was wee and adorable and every woman over the age of forty, and I, got chocked up when we’d heard he caught the last train to Clarksville. No question, Marcia Brady had great taste.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Miss Donna Brazile for keeping it fresh on CNN during primary season and I recently found out that she keeps it fresh on Twitter. She’s honest, she’s fiery, and my personal favorite is that she likes to give a denture alert on Twitter. She brings new meaning to the phrase ‘telling it like it is,’ and in the words of Donna herself ‘Amen, Sister.’ Follow her on Twitter and watch her on CNN, I love her.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to Jesse Tyler Ferguson’s face. Of course, your face gets a mazel from me any day - but when you co-hosted The View earlier this week, you had a questionable look of disgust toward one of your couch-mates, I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t Whoopi.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to the president of Finland's husband. Yes, he did get caught looking at another woman, but before he did he got a great big eye full of Danish princess knockers. I think he handled it all pretty smoothly and he got a big eye full.”

“My Mazel tonight goes to former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin for contributing to the President’s Day celebrations by making this video, that I am obsessed with, where she screams about America over an audio track of thunderous applause. I’ve been watching this video all day for some reason. Who is she speaking to? It’s an audio track of applause, it’s crazy. Anyway, Mazel to you Sarah Palin for making sure you are still heard even when you might not even be saying anything.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to an unknown patron at Great Eastern restaurant in San Francisco. President Obama stopped in for a surprise visit and she surprised him right back by grabbing a hand full of his dumplings? Is it true what they say- you grab the President’s ass in a Chinese restaurant and an hour later, you just want to do it again?”

"Adam Forgie’s 90 year old grandma in Utah who performed this dance tribute to Whitney Houston. I love 90 year old grandma, I love all her dance videos on YouTube, and I love that she wants us to follow her on Twitter! Thanks @90yroldGrandma”

"My Mazel of the day goes to the winner of the Westminster dog show - Malachy! An 11 pound, 4 year old Pekingese who has won over 115 best-in-show titles and looks like a bowling ball with hair. Congrats, Malachy - of course the obvious question on everyone’s mind in the Clubhouse remains...is it a wig, is it weave, or is it weal? I say lace front.”

“The Grammy Awards are on Sunday so I wanted to give a big fat Mazel to someone who I would consider my patronus, Diana Ross. She is receiving the Lifetime Achievement award and Daniel, I know you’re also nominated for a Grammy for best musical theater album and on Sunday will you give my queen a message for me? Tell Diana Ross I have the sweetest hangover and I don’t want to get over.”

“The state of California for finally throwing out that stinking old loser Proposition 8. To all of those of you who protested, picketed, and persevered, congratulations, your hard work paid off. So go out and smoke your legal dubies, make rights on reds, and celebrate by getting married for fun.”

“Madonna killed it at the Superbowl but my Mazel goes to this guy. Some people thought he was Rhea Perlman but the name of this tightrope master is Andy and he’s a gingie and what more could you ask for in a human being? Mazel to Andy, what a curly top.”

“My Mazel of the day goes to a lady who some might say is having another big moment right now. I say the past three decades have all been her moment: Madonna! Her new video for “Give Me All Your Luvin’” premiered tonight and I give it all my love. It. Was. Transcendent. Madonna, you just keep getting better and better, I can’t wait to see you perform Sunday at the Madonna Bowl, where I understand they’re going to be playing some kind of little game called ‘football’ before and after.”

“Tonight’s Mazel goes to one of my all-time heroes, the creator of ‘Soul Train’- Don Cornelius, who passed away today. Don, you’re a true legend, the king of cool, a broadcasting legend. He was my disco spirit guide, my soul spirit guide, and I know he’s up there cranking out the hits in that big Soul Train in the sky. Mazel to Don Cornelius. And to celebrate you, here is one of our ‘Watch What Happens Live’ favorite clips, it’s Rosie Perez on the ‘Soul Train’ line”

“My Mazel of the day goes to this lamb that was recently born with six legs! I doubt anyone will ever try to eat him, because clearly he is oozing radioactive waste, but if somebody does, he can either choose to run away or stay and kick their face in. Either way he’ll be great at it because he has six legs.”

“My Mazel goes to one of my fave ladies, the legendary Mary Tyler Moore, who received the lifetime achievement award at the Screen Actors Guild Awards tonight.”

“My mazel of the day goes to this baby who seemed to enjoy my pillow fight with Ralph Fiennes way more than I did.”

"The Real Housewives of the 80's!! Look at this picture, I'm obsessed. It's Brooke Shields, Daryl Hannah, and Melanie Griffith watching basketball together. I call this three-pointer of a photo 'Working Splash Lagoon Girl.' It almost makes me want to care about basketball."

"Everybody’s been raving about this amazing silent movie ‘The Artist.’ and last night I finally saw it and I have a new favorite actor - Uggie the dog! "

"President Barack Obama for singing at a New York fundraiser. How did people like his singing? Well, he raised over 3 million dollars plus 7 thousand pairs of panties! And one pair of junderpants from someone. It's not important who."

"Babies! A new study just found that babies can read lips! Congratulations! And for all you babies watching, since you’re so smart, (MOUTHS) I hate babies. Could you read my lips?"

"The unknown parents of two anonymous babies I found on the Internet today, for having the wisdom to dress them up as Wayne and Garth."

Britney Spears' son, Sean Preston Federline. Britney posted a video of him dancing and my favorite part is the way he keeps shoving poor Jayden James out of the way. Kid's got what it takes, just add a snake and some auto-tune and Sean Preston, I will see you at Madison Square Garden.

"Britney Spears' son, Sean Preston Federline. Britney posted a video of him dancing and my favorite part is the way he keeps shoving poor Jayden James out of the way. Kid's got what it takes, just add a snake and some auto-tune and Sean Preston, I will see you at Madison Square Garden."

"John Edwards is seeking a delay in his criminal corruption trial because he has a life threatening heart aliment but mazel to him for finding out that he has a heart. Better late than never, John Edwards."

"Tomorrow we will big a final adieu to the residence of Lanview. After 43 amazing years the Bucannon family will be sorely missed as will Viki Lord as will the wonderful vision of the show's creater, Agnes Nixon. Mazel all!"

"Lately we have caused some ripples in a couple of pondlets, some scandal, but with controversy but also some peace making. The other night ?uestlove was on our show, he said Tina Fey really needs to be nicer to The Roots because they're all from Philly. Last night she brought it up on 'Late Night with Jimmy Fallon' and they seem to have resolved their issues. Namaste. Mazel to peace in the late night East."

"Everybody knows that I worship at the feet of New York's WNBC weather empress Janice Huff. This lady keeps it together and real during the most harrowing weather situations with meteorological chic."