PREMIERE: Apr 24, 2013, 11:00 PM
Vincent Kartheiser & Gabriel Mann
  • Mazel: Nasa, because, as one redditor discovered, it looks like one of their unmanned rovers drew an image on the surface of Mars: an image of a dick. Look! Someone drew a dick on Mars! Mars! You have a dick on you! Do you know how long its gonna take to get that off of Mars?
  • Jackhole: The Sequester. You wanna make airport lines longer? Fine. You want to cancel White House tours? Fine. But today I learned that New York City's "Fleet Week" has been cancelled to save the Navy money. Not only is this horrible for the morale of our men in tight uniforms-- uniforms that make them look like they're about to break into an amazing dance number-- it is bad for New Yorkers who look forward to our yearly flood of Sea Men... and Sea Women. This is not over people, I am hitting the streets tomorrow. As a matter of fact, I'm going on a two week sobriety thing tomorrow, and I am going to be pissed. Call me navy!