My strategy for heading home came to me in therapy. When I left Mimi, I started really thinking about why I was in that relationship. The conclusion I came to was this: until I repaired my relationship with my mother -- the most important woman in my life, and the one that has effected me the most -- I would never have a healthy relationship with another woman. I think a lot of gay kids can relate to that. My relationship was a disaster with my mom, so how could I expect to choose a good partner? So I guess I could say that I went home for selfish reasons because I really went home with a mission to work hard on that relationship.
My mom wrote me a long letter that was very touching about everything that she regretted, and it was about a five-page letter. She misses me and wants me in her life. After last year's show we barely talked. She realized that her inability to talk to me and be more inclusive in my life and get over my own needs and desires and is going to destroy any opportunity to have a relationship with me. I, also, wasn't being drained because of my relationship with Mimi so it was the right time for both of us. I'm so excited about the possibilities of my new relationship with my mother.