Unless you're some kind of saint, you've probably at one time or another said or done something unkind. Maybe out of fear, envy, greed or pettiness, you've dumped on somebody you shouldn't have. Well, folks -- I did just that. I made the following comments about Jamie Eason: (1) I questioned if she had breast implants because they were very perky and perfect. I remember looking down at my aging boobs and thought about considering implants, and (2) I questioned who she was in general because she was doing some hard-core workout with Brian. That is all I said ... PERIOD! I totally owned up to it and personally apologized to Jamie, her boyfriend, and Peeler. I apologized for the exact words I used immediately after her boyfriend walked out of the office. Her boyfriend was totally cool and understood, but wanted an apology from Jackie and not on behalf of her, as he overheard her making comments as well. I believe Jamie and Peeler wanted the same, which is why he confronted Jackie in her office. My "confessional" was emotional and overwhelming because I felt so bad for what I said even after I made amends. At that time I also learned that my sister who is suffering from systemic Lupus and attempted suicide, and my hair was coming out in clumps due to stress. I have suffered the repercussions of my actions and if the blame wants to be placed on me, then so be it.
The best thing about the situation is that I got "love" back from Jamie and Peeler. As manager of the gym and medical facility, I make mistakes -- BIG OL' BURLY ones! The best thing about a mistake is the ability to OWN up to it and learn from it. If you don't, then that says something about your lack of character. Since the event, I have spoken to many high profile business people in Beverly Hills and have taken their advice on how to handle the situation. I learned that it isn't uncommon for things like this to happen, but it is rare that people take full responsibility for it and not blame others. Yes, it was immature. Yes, yes, yes. Guilty as charged! So I'm totally prepared for the butt-whipping, nasty words and hate mail. Bring it on, as I deserve it.
I have finally had time to read fan comments and I just want all of you all to know that I'm totally appreciative of all comments -- GOOD and darn right nasty! Positive and negative feedback works hand and hand because both make me strive to change and do things better. So thanks to everyone, and to the ones that refer to me as being "overweight" with love handles -- you are sooo right. I do have a sugar addiction and because I've been working six days a week for 10+ hours, I'm skipping meals. NOT GOOD. I've learned to embrace fitness again, as I was a gymnast, swimmer, driver, and soccer player growing up. I'm not any different from the Sky Lab crew because my road is long and hard. For those that find me worthless and boring and hope that I will be off next season, thank you for at least voicing your opinion. I love making others smile and laugh, --sometimes it can be considered as drama. Usually the jokes are about me because my life is pretty much a comedy on its own. While filming this episode, I tripped over my big feet, cleaned gym with my skirt and stilettos, bumped my head into a machine, had a piece of my hair extension hanging off my head, didn't lock the bathroom door behind me (I will leave it up to you to figure out), slipped off my chair onto my butt and demonstrated my lack of coordination and rhythm in the gym dancing to my techno music. I'm one big klutz, but to say the least, entertaining. Sky Sport is a different kind of gym atmosphere where everyone feels like family. I know when a client is having an awful day, suffering a loss, or any other issue. We are serious about our training programs, but at the same time like to have fun and add a sense of "being at home" to the mix. I found that through my daily funny mishaps that people laugh and it takes the pressures and cares away -- even if only for a moment.
I had the blessing of being able to work out with clients and usually I'm the one left huffing and puffing, like Shannon and Tyra of Sky Lab -- they kicked my butt on the treadmill at 15% incline (I'm gonna get you Peeler!!!) I know he enjoyed my pain, but in the end we all related to each others' strengths and weaknesses. They encourage me and vice versa. We have even shared tears together. When a client confesses about personal issues that are so deep, it's a good feeling they know they can trust me. Clients are shocked sometimes to get a call from me to simply wish them a good day because it's not normal for people to actually care. I can't tell you how many roads I have pulled off of on to talk to a Sky Labber that was having a major issue. Yes -- they can call me at anytime because tough times usually occur outside of gym, so I want to be available. I love that the trainers are usually hanging out or stop by my office for a roaring chuckle or to have heart-to-heart conversations ... OK -- and sometimes a little bit of good gossip!!!
Yes -- I do respect my boss and I'm loyal to her. I do my job and do it well and at this point I have not taken any time off and give it 100% everyday. I am the one in charge when Jackie is away and filming. Some trainers like my decision and some hate it, but they know that everything I do is for their benefit. I also respect myself and know where I came from and where I'm going, but on the other hand, I don't allow anyone to take advantage of me or throw me under the bus. Yes, for the final time, if crap is going down at Sky Sport, then Jackie needs to know. It's not brown-nosing, kissing butt, or being a snitch. It's called loyalty. I don't need or have to do underhanded things to get respect. I bust my butt every day to help folks and with that -- I earn respect. "To whom much is given will be required" is how I think of my duty as manager.
I really don't even know my purpose sometimes on the show, so I feel y'all haters that are confused as well. I guess to create some controversy, which seems to be working. I do my best to portray an image that is truly me, not a fake facade or claiming to be perfect. Sorry, you will not find me drunk or making out with my boss or making excuses. Yes, I'm a wannabe -- a wannabe winner, survivor, and motivator. Most importantly, improve many things about myself, including the ability to keep my blasted eyes open during filming as I'm a little camera shy. I'm oh so proud of Erika -- does she look hot or what? I will tell you that she was sooo disciplined getting ready for the shoot. Every time I called her, she was on the treadmill. Greg P. might have eyes for her ... but who the heck wouldn't? You go girl. You are a superstar! Greg B. My brother from another mother! Wow -- that was some explosive stuff we went through with Deenie. I'm proud of how diplomatic you handled it. You have miles to go before you sleep with regards to training Deenie. Just don't use the words "love and affection" during the process. What a mess that got me into. Holla!
Agostina and Erika: Thanks for all of the fitness advice and taking the time out to train me. I know I'm a tough customer, but I figure if anyone can handle me, it's you two. I hope you will continue watching and please keep up the good comments and bad. Everyone is in need of self improvement and change. Please note that I'm not looking for sympathy or to turn people that obviously hate me into my friends. I will make more mistakes and fail, but that comes along with the road to success.
So enjoy the show and look for crazy stuff to unfold with the Sky Labbers, trainers, and of course ... Jackie. Thanks again to Brian Peeler (BP) and Jamie Eason for the love and support, and I wish the best for both of your careers!
P.S. To the blogger that said "who wants to hear from the boring secretary- and next from the janitor": I'm not the secretary -- we don't have one. We have a phenomenal office team. Also, the janitor(s) are not called that. They are maintenance professionals that add to the fun at Sky Sport and keep the gym clean and safe. Please be respectful of their professions. I'm sure they have a story to tell that would knock your socks off! You guys rock. Watch for more lunacy next week!