Kat: "I Started to Lose Respect for Adrienne"
Kat explains why she ultimately told the Captain about her anxiety.
Bravotv.com: At the end of the last episode, it seems many of your crew members thought you were drunk — did you know that's what everyone thought?
Kat Held: At the end of last episode, I did not know that my entire crew thought I had been drinking. My main concern was how to mentally overcome the issue I was having with the charter guests, which was that they were making sexually inappropriate comments to me, which made me feel extremely uncomfortable.
Bravotv.com: What was going through your mind when Adrienne initially confronted you in you room? Then later with Sam in the galley?
KH: When Adrienne initially confronted me in my room for drinking, I wasn't too concerned at that time. I didn't realize how bad my behavior was, so I thought that she was overreacting, and it would only take a little persuading to get her off my back. However, when she confronted me in the crew mess with Sam present, I realized that this was more serious than I had initially anticipated. At this point, I actually started to panic. The thought of losing my job was overwhelming, and I was worried that Adrienne was going to give me more than a reprimanding and actually confront Lee with her concerns. On the other hand, I was embarrassed to be antagonized in front of Sam, because this was an issue that was between Adrienne and myself, so I was angry with Adrienne for bringing this up in front of Sam, therefore making the situation more uncomfortable for all of us.
Bravotv.com: Did you feel there was any option besides telling the Captain about your anxiety?
KH: Because of Adrienne's threat, I had to tell the Captian something. I was so worried that I was going to lose my job that I just wanted to be upfront with the Captain, and telling him about my anxiety was the only option. I was in such a panic over the whole thing, I couldn't even think clearly. It all happened so fast. I just wanted it to be over with it as fast as possible, therefore stalling to come up with something else to say never even crossed my mind.
Bravotv.com: Adrienne expresses that you lied to her. Why didn't you tell her what was up? Do you feel like she still thought you were drunk?
KH: At this time, I started to lose respect for Adrienne, so sharing anything personal with her was out of the question. I didn't even want to associate with her. In my mind, she stabbed me in the back by taking the issue to the Captain. It could have been addressed and solved without bringing him into the picture, so I took it as a personal attack.Bravotv.com: Ben seemed pretty supportive -- what is your relationship like at this point?
KH: At this point, Ben and I are strictly co-workers and friends. Ben is a pretty straightforward guy, and I honestly think he would have supported any of the crew that were in my situation. He may have thought that Adrienne's managing skills were not up to par for her position, and that possibly could have influenced his decision as well.
Bravotv.com: It seemed like your behavior was sparked by the comments the last guests made towards you. Have you ever been treated like that before on a boat?
KH: Honestly, I can't recall having such lewd comments made directly towards me while on working hours. On the other hand, I have heard stories of this occurring to others before.
Bravotv.com: After meeting with the Captain, you say you aren't going to go out with the crew that night, but you go. What made you change your mind?
KH: Honestly, peer pressure is what got me. At that time, I was feeling insecure, and once again, I wanted to forget about the issues surrounding work, so I took the irresponsible route and gave into my emotional side. Also, if I didn't go out, I would have been stuck on the boat, which at that point was not where I wanted to be. Furthermore, because everyone was going out, I felt as though I would be missing out on something if didn't attend.
Bravotv.com: On a different note, As a close outsider, what do you think of Sam and C.J.'s relationship? Do you think she's more into it than she lets on?
KH: Sam is a tough one to figure out. She's a strong, independent, and confident girl, so that makes me want to believe what she says. On the other hand, her behavior isn't matching up with her words. To me, this makes it seem like deep down inside, there may be more to her feelings towards C.J. then she's letting on. Although, I haven't gotten to know her as much as I would like on a personal level, so it's really hard to say.
Bravotv.com: Anything else you'd like to say about this episode?
KH: I see some of the crew members true personalities starting to emerge during this episode. There's also a lot of conflict going on and a lot more questions are arising because of that. It definitely gives more insight as to what's to come.