As a writer on relationships, I'm usually the one observing what goes down in people's love lives. But there was the time I found myself the center of attention -- inside a restaurant in full view of fellow diners. Here are the turn of events that led to a very public -- and embarrassing -- breakup.
I had been with a guy for about three months. We had met at a singles mixer over the summer of 2008. We went out on a date, and while I found him attractive, I didn't care much for his personality. So I suggested that we just be friends.
During this time, I was writing what was supposed to be an anonymous blog about my New York City dating disasters. There were tales about the bartender who would call me at 2 a.m. after his shift to come over for late night trysts. And the construction worker who was so sexy, but would never come over to seal the deal. It was my special place to bemoan my comically sad scenarios.
I had told this guy –- let’s call him Ron -- that I was writing the blog, to which he said, "I hope you're not writing about me." I told him I wasn't, and then joked that even if I was, how would he find my little, insignificant blog in the internet stratosphere?
We had gone out a few more times as friends where he had been approached by several women, and for some annoying reason, it bothered me. When we got back to my place, I told him as much. And he said to me, "Maybe it's because your feelings are stronger than you're willing to let on," and kissed me. One thing led to another.
After it happened, I could only think about was how awful it was. So awful, that I had to hash it out. On my blog. The one he had warned me not to write about him on.
We went out a few more times. By this time he had assumed we had progressed from friends to couple, and I hadn’t had the guts to say anything different. We were sitting in a restaurant one night, and he started asking more questions about my blog. And then he turned his phone around to me. “This blog,” he said, his eyes glaring.
I was stunned. "How did you find it?" I stammered. I then realized I had given him just enough information to find the link. And that's when the screaming began.
“Is this what you think of me? Of us?" he demanded.
I hadn’t written anything too awful. In fact, I had pointed out that I valued our burgeoning friendship so much, I didn't want to mess it up with a sexual one. Which I thought was a mature choice.
He didn’t feel that way. He started screaming that I was some kind of jezebel because of all the other men I had written about. He may have said something too about how my wanton ways would ultimately leave me without anyone in the end. I was too busy watching all the people who were turning to see his tirade play out. He was yelling pretty loudly.
He ended it off saying that he was so disgusted with me that he couldn't even finish dinner. And then he got up, slammed money on the table, and walked out. For real.
I should have been shocked. But what kept running through my mind is that someday, I was going to write about this scenario and share it with the world.
And now I have. And he's off in the distance somewhere. Screaming
Got an ex? Yeah, we all do. Bravo’s Personal Space is diving into everything there is to discuss about breakups, from the ones that got away to ghosting to what the hell you should do with an ex on social media with Ex-Files Week. It’s all leading up to our new series A Night With My Ex, which explores what happens when former couples reunite…for one night only. Check back each day for exclusive interviews, personal stories, and don’t forget to catch the premiere on Tuesday, July 18 at 10/9c.
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