Baseball and spring just go together.
They’re like movies and popcorn, Alec Baldwin and SNL, or relatives and bad email forwards. And, whether it feels like it or not, spring is finally here, which means baseball is just around the corner, along with its double-headers, excuses to drink outside, and endless calorie-laden snack choices.
Some of that food includes your basic MLB-staples (hot dogs, peanuts, Cracker Jack), but the best ballpark options in recent years haven’t been the classic concessions options. Instead, we can happily chow down on the results of fierce competition among ballparks to create the most outlandish, headline-grabbing and heart-stopping snack bar items in the league. (BTW, just to get it out of the way, the Texas Rangers likely claimed the crown for this long, long ago.)
Here are a few notable standouts from stadiums around the country to get you warmed up for another season of America’s favorite pastime—eating.
1. “The Burgerizza” — Atlanta Braves
If you've ever ordered two pizzas and a burger at a restaurant only to have them all arrive on separate plates and thought to yourself "THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY:" a) No, there doesn't. b) But there is. c) Make ours a double.
2. “Slider Dog” — Cleveland Indians
Hot dogs are the most sacred food item in baseball. (Seriously—ask someone from L.A. about a Dodger Dog and then clear your schedule for the next three hours.) Why, then, the Cleveland Indians would feel the need to smother those beautiful frankfurters in cereal is beyond us. They're topped with bacon and mac and cheese too, but the Froot Loops? Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
3. “The Hill Meatball Cone” — St. Louis Cardinals
Meat. Ball. Cone. Three words with seemingly nothing in common come together for the noble mission of putting you into your deepest food coma of the summer. A cone made of Italian bread filled with four meatballs and a heckuva lot of cheese. Play (meat)ball!
4. “Cracker Jack & Mac Dog” — Pittsburgh Pirates
A dramatic reenactment of how this was created.
Executive #1: How do we create an even more popular concessions item?
Executive #2: We could mash all of our current top sellers together on one plate?
Executive #1: DAVIS, THAT’S BRILLIANT! I don’t even want to hear what they are. Just do it.
5. “The Tape Measure” — New York Yankees
Break out your seventh inning stretch…y pants. Because this two-foot long cheesesteak is available at Yankee Stadium provided you have a friend to help you carry it back to your seat. It’s topped with cheez whiz, peppers, and onions, but unfortunately it's BYO antacids.
6. “Miami Mex Taco Dog” — Miami Marlins
A foot-long hot dog covered with chili con carne, Monterey Jack cheese, cilantro, shaved cabbage, salsa, and jalapeño lime aioli. Thankfully this sucker is wrapped in a tortilla, because that’s the only way you’re keeping these toppings from ruining your previously mentioned stretchy pants.
7. “S’mores Covered Bacon” — New York Mets
Have you ever played that game where you try to choose what your last meal would be if you were on death row? Anyone who doesn’t answer “Five orders of S’mores Covered Bacon” is just playing for second place.
8. “College Daze Bloody Mary”— Minnesota Twins
It’s a classic dilemma: only a few minutes between innings and you’ve got to choose between the snack line and the drink line. Now, you can have your drink and eat it too. Meet the College Daze Bloody Mary, a $19 cocktail stuffed with a slice of cold pepperoni pizza, a beef stick(?), jack and cheddar cheese cubes, pepperoncini, olive, celery, and a pickle, along with a side beer. So in summary: it’s a drink that comes with a meal and another drink. Groundbreaking.
9. “Chicken & Waffle Cone” — Houston Astros
Start planning your trip to Minute Maid Park now so that you don’t let summer pass by without tasting the magnificent creation: a waffle cone stuffed with mashed potatoes, fried chicken, and honey mustard. Because why should ice cream have all the waffle cone fun?
10. “Churro Dog” — Arizona Diamondbacks
It’s approximately 1,117 calories of pure unadulterated joy. Wrapped in a Long John chocolate-glazed donut and topped with frozen yogurt, caramel, and chocolate sauce, this warm cinnamon churro is for sweets lovers who want the ballpark hot dog experience in decadent dessert form.
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