I'm on page 2 of Caitlyn Jenner's new memoir, The Secrets Of My Life, and already, already, there are revelations that'll knock your socks off. Page 1 isn't even a whole page. Not even out of the prologue yet and there's delicious new information about Bruce Jenner's transition into Caitlyn.
Like how many women she slept with in her former life as the Olympian. And what she was actually seeing in the mirror the whole time we were looking at Bruce.
"They don't know that when I look into the mirror I see something entirely different, a body that I fundamentally loathe: a beard that is always noticeable no matter how close the shave, a penis that is useless except for pissing in the woods, a chest that should have breasts, a face with a jawline too sharp and a forehead too high," she writes. "They don't know that contrary to what they imagine, I have slept with roughly five women in my life, and I was married to three of them."
Caitlyn goes on to describe the feelings that arose after the Olympics were over and there was nothing to focus on or distract her from her true self any longer.
"I go to bed with frustration and shame. I wake up with frustration and shame," she writes.
(I am still not out of the prologue, page 3. 315 pages to go.)
"You just try to get by, pray that the conflict inside will, well, not go away completely, because you tried that already and it won't..."
Caitlyn reveals that Kris "won't allow" the behavior at home, so for speeches on the road then-Bruce would pack a bag for a man and a woman. He (Bruce) always carried plastic wrap to wrap around his waist to cinch it for a more womanly figure. He would Krazy Glue his face back behind a wig in order to lift the skin. He'd steal dresses and purses from Kris, who soon started to notice her stuff was going missing.
"I yearn for the answer here on Earth. But until I find it I do what I do best, I play Bruce."
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