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An Open Letter to Cameran Eubanks from Southern Charm: GET A DOG ALREADY!
Why throw out your birth control when you can adopt a pupper?
You and I go way back. I've welcomed you into my home since you were but a young babe living in the Real World of San Diego, all the way up to this the fourth season of Southern Charm—so I feel like I know you well enough to hit you with some hard truths.
There comes a moment in every woman’s life when she just knows it’s time to expand her family. Clocks are ticking, strangers are telling you that you aren’t getting any younger, and you’ve got that twitch in your gut. So I'll just say it:
Girl, get yourself a dog.
I know, I know, you’ve toyed with it before. You took us on a rollercoaster ride in season two when you and Shep hung out with some cute pups and we thought you were going to pull the trigger on a tripod named Ellie. But ultimately, Ellie did not become Ellie Eubanks Wimberly, and clearly you have regrets. You've said it yourself: You think about that sweet pup all the time.
Being a dog mom would fit perfectly into your lifestyle. What do you love now? Food? Dogs also love food! Imagine all the table scraps you could feed your new best friend. (FWIW, Scraps would be an excellent dog name, just sayin'.)
Plus, your Southern Charm pals would totally love it! Shep would “dogsit” (aka, use your pet to pick up women), Craig and the pup could spend hours “studying for the bar” (aka, buying power tools) and then y’all could dog-nob with Patricia, who is well known for her love of puppers. Hellooo…who doesn't want to be like Patricia? Do you mean to tell me you don’t want to spend your days doing a needlepoint of a fancy pug named Chauncey? I’m sorry, you are a liar.
So Cam, friend, get yourself a dog. I know you want one. Your instagram is packed with proof that your life needs a four-legged friend. Please see below for all of my compiled evidence. From memes to Snapchat filters—even your instagram bio (Sometimes you’re the dog, sometimes the tree)—all prove you’ve got dogs on the brain. Your heart knows you want a dog. Trust it. (Plus, I hear it's like practice for having babies or whatever.)