When women get pregnant — sometimes after a long road of infertility — being able to announce your good news to everyone is pretty exciting. You can be creative, finally get good wishes from your pals, and not pretend like you have just been shoveling your face with fatty foods these past few months. There is actually a bun in the oven.
There’s usually a timeline to baby announcements: your husband (if it’s his, fingers crossed), your family, then close friends, then work, and followed by a social media announcement for acquaintances and just to spread the word easily.
But there’s been a new trend happening, where pregnant women aren’t following this timeline at all. In fact, many are not announcing pregnancies until well after the five-month mark.
Jaime, 37, who owns her own marketing/advertising firm in New York City, said she waited until 24 weeks to announce her pregnancy on social media. While friends and family knew, she wasn’t comfortable with how it could possibly affect her business.
“I deal with a lot of young women and men,” Jaime explains. “A lot of the time, they think a really pregnant woman is going to be all about the baby and not get done what they need. So I didn’t tell any clients for a long time.”
Lisa, 34, who just hit her six-month mark this week, kept her growing belly hidden in the warmer months with face-only social media pics, and flowing maxi dresses, until she was ready to tell the world she was expecting a baby with her boyfriend. She’s a commercial actress and work had already been put on hold due to her visible bump.
“We struggled to get pregnant for a long time, so we wanted to enjoy it; it was kind of fun having a secret,” she tells Personal Space, adding, “of course, people could tell, but I didn’t confirm anything.”
Kate, 41, a New York-based magazine editor, is pregnant with her first baby — a boy — at 22 weeks, and is clearly showing, but doesn’t plan on telling her male boss until around the seven-month mark.
“It’s unfortunate that for women this is what we have to worry about, if our employer thinks we’ll be coming back, or if we are doing our job,” she says. “Everyone can see I’m pregnant, but I’ll tell them on my time.”
According to Forbes, women should actually wait as long as possible before telling employers they are expecting. Figure out your rights, what maternity leave you are entitled to, figure out who can take your workload before you leave, and don’t make the baby or your pregnancy all-consuming in the office while you are still there.
One major advantage to waiting is that you have family and friends to share your excitement with, but if something does go wrong, you don't have to explain things over and over again to people you are not that close with.
People tend to reveal their news early when they haven’t struggled with infertility, Jenna McCarthy, author of The Parent Trip, tells BabyCenter, because “you won't have to make excuses for feeling exhausted, gaining weight, or passing up a glass of wine."
New York-based OBGYN, Dr. Ahmed Fahmy, says that while it’s not usually traditional, they feel safe around the five-month mark because “you usually have a viable baby that can survive outside mother,” and that makes it seem very real and very safe.
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