There’s nothing like spending that first night at your new guy’s place. But if your boyfriend’s bedroom looks more like a barnyard – or even worse than one - it can be hard to move forward in the relationship.
So shares Lindsey 29, from Boulder, CO. The analyst recalls spending that first night with her current boyfriend (who shall remain nameless) at his place, and not being prepared with what was waiting for her on the other side of his front door.
“I mean, I wasn’t expecting it to be a page from Martha Stewart Living, but when I walked in, I was like, what the hell,” she shares with a laugh.
Yes, there was a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. The living room coffee table was covered in half-drunk beer cans and ashes, which he blamed on his roommate.
Somehow his clothing hadn’t made it into a hamper or drawer, they were lying in a pile that had grown tall enough to seep onto the bed. And then there was the bathroom, which looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since he moved in. And that was three years ago.
“It was all so confusing because he knew I was coming over,” Lindsey says. “I just couldn’t understand why he hadn’t cleaned up.”
There's help for this insane behavior.
“I would actually suggest considering whether said man was 'the one.' Being that unaware of one's space - not to mention the lack of consideration of his house guest will manifest itself many times over in other areas of his behavior,” declares Mike Eaton, founder and CEO of Hero Clean, a brand of cleaning products designed for men. “The dude may need to do a bit of growing up before you consider hanging out with him again.”
If your man is a great guy, but just challenged in the cleaning department, Mike has a plan to get his home sparkling – or just in livable condition.
Start by helping him break down the chores into small tasks.
"Pick one job and let him figure out his way to do it. Coach but DO NOT critique, judge or the like,” Mike suggests.
He also advises that men need to know they have to keep up with the housework.
“Little bits at a time will be manageable,” he shares. Make it clear to your man that women find men who clean, “very attractive, and it might not hurt to have you catch him in the act...”
As for cleaning up his place yourself, Mike says you can “ask beforehand if your man minds.” But it’s not a habit you want to get into, as your boyfriend may come to expect the job to be done by you every single time (like his mama did?) Instead, “if you were to show up with a really cool new brand for guys as a gift (like Hero-Clean, hint, hint) and try using it together, it could a more interesting way to broach the subject.”
You know what they say: the couple that cleans together… doesn’t get roaches.
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Personal Space is Bravo's home for all things "relationships," from romance to friendships to family to co-workers. Ready for a commitment? Then Like us on Facebook to stay connected to our daily updates.