10 Things I Overheard at the National Dog Show That You Probably Wouldn’t Hear Anywhere Else

10 Things I Overheard at the National Dog Show That You Probably Wouldn’t Hear Anywhere Else

Before you watch the show on Thanksgiving Day, here's everything that went down behind the scenes.

By Morgan Ashley Parker

As I mentioned already, attending the National Dog Show was quite a unique experience and, unsurprisingly, that included hearing some pretty surprising and hilarious things. From things I overheard spectators wondering or handlers gossiping, to a few funny things that official event hosts said, it was pretty hard to jot down notes fast enough and pick 10 faves.

This is Nova Scotia’s greatest gift to America since smoked salmon.

This made me LOLs because who doesn’t like lox — and really what else can you name from that Canadian province? (New answer: The Nova Scotia Duck-Tolling Retriever.)

There weren’t even bitches in the ring.

After the male dogs (aka dogs) competed and the female dogs (aka bitches) competed, the top ones came together for the Best of Breed part. This handler was not pleased about the abundance of male finalists — the dog show glass ceiling?

What does that dog herd … mice?

Now, it’s easy to picture a dog like the nimble and athletic-looking Border Collie rounding up sheep on a farm. Some other dogs in the herding group, especially the smaller ones with shorter legs, were considered a little less believable "herding dogs" by the skeptics.

I wonder if her dog follows sparkles or if she’s just a sparkly person.

So many people I overheard in the audience had FEELINGS on the outfits that some handlers wore. This was one of the nicer things I overheard — and her glittery sequins were eye-catching.

You can’t NOT pick the German Shepherd.

The same thing held true for dogs competing. People who may stop and pet any dog without discrimination on the street become couch critics during the show. There was outrage — and wine — in the VIP section which only added the fuel of confidence to the commenting fire.

You know how much hairspray must be on that tail.

As I realized from the glam processes I witnessed in the main hall, getting a dog ready for a show looks similar to getting a housewife ready for reunion. Imagine seeing a line of (pony) tails that would make even Kandi jealous.

He’s got a pretty head and big feet.

I mean do I even need to say anything else about that? (No.)

She got out of the dogs.

Eavesdropping on breeder gossip was one of my favorite parts — more tea was spilled than at a Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion! Not only did I hear people reminiscing and cattily judging, but there were also questions on who was there … and who was not.

Look, that dog is floating.

Most kids were totally in awe with so many dogs in one place that they hadn't seen before. And, if they had seen the breed, it was certainly not with a silky floor-length coat that made them appear to float by the judges.

You don’t get to go anywhere and hug a Philadelphia Eagle but you can come here and hug a beagle.

When an announcer said this to the crowd, it obviously got a big laugh at the event which was held right outside of Philly.

No, I hate people.

Hey, I get it (and I also know this is 11 if you’re counting). I had to include this because, while I’m sure many of us think that at times, I heard at least five different variations of it at the dog show, clearly a safe space for people to admit they simply prefer pets over people.

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