Ladies, ever have a guy approach you at a bar and he just, well, is sweet but lacks confidence? You don’t give him a shot because you’re not really feeling it. Then, the maybe not best-looking, but most confident man talks to you and you find yourself madly attracted to him. That’s what confidence can do. It's a turn on.
For guys—and women—who lack it, Thomas Edwards, professional wingman, is here to help. He launched his company, The Professional Wingman, in 2009 after getting dumped by who he thought was the girl of his dreams. She cheated, he was crushed, and he wondered what he was missing.
“I thought I found the one, and I was completely crushed,” Thomas tells Personal Space. “I didn’t ever want something like that to happen again, so I went on my own personal journey. I started writing a blog about my experience of wanting to become a more confident and attractive guy…People began asking for advice.”
In 2009, Thomas found himself at a bar with a buddy, who asked him to help talk to a woman he found pretty—if she agreed to a date with him, his friend would pick up the entire bar tab. Thomas’ advice worked, his pal landed a date and his business began. “I thought ‘maybe I can teach people how to do this on their own,’” says Thomas. “I loved the idea of being a wingman.”
But it involves much more than accompanying a guy to a bar and feeding him instructions on how to talk to women. Men pay him anywhere from $3,000 to $10,000 for Thomas to witness in person what they are doing wrong. Turns out, he’s educated himself so much on the subject, he knows just what to do.
“I focus on guys looking for longterm love and haven’t been able to find it, go out with them and see in real time whats happening, give them feedback to become more confident and attract the person of their dreams,” he says.
His real-time coaching approach has proven to work. And it’s not for people looking for a one-night stand. He’s actually helping you improve your life.
“In terms of the way I do it I do it through to keeping the relationship going, you’re going in the trenches with these clients and discovering their darkest secrets and deepest fears,” Thomas explains. “You start noticing patterns of what people respond to in a positive way.”
He says there are three reasons why people can’t find love—either they are clueless (not self aware at all), they lack experience, or they are lazy and fear rejection.
“There are no trade secrets, it’s always based on confidence,” he says. “A lot of people haven’t exercised the confidence muscle. You have to smile more, hold eye contact, breathe slowly. Men need to keep their hands out of their pockets, stand up straight. don’t make erratic movements. Those are the motions of people who are not confident. No shifty eyes or looking down. A big one is holding your drink up to your chest, that shows a sign of unease. When you hold your drink to your side you look super comfortable. You’re allowing yourself to be exposed to the front and be vulnerable. I tell men not to play with their straw, never drink with a straw.”
Thomas says women are so socially intelligent from being approached so much that they pick up on nerves right away.
“It’s crazy what a little swagger can do for your life,” he says, adding that he loves helping someone then “seeing a woman’s positive reaction when a guy walks away.”
“I can tell if they feel excited about it, if if they are creeped out, weirded out,” he says. “When guys are really invested and doing the right things, you see their reactions light up.”
The wingman’s clients range from 17 to 65 years old and he’s even helped a real life 40-year-old virgin find love. He has over 100 marriages under his belt from men he’s assisted in finding love.
“The one thing that is consistent is the men becoming more willing to take risks and be more vulnerable,” Thomas explains. “The more willing to be yourself, the more you attractive you’re going to be and you’re going to make higher quality connections.”
He will even help you with your wardrobe—but you have to look like you. “If you’re a hot mess I help refine things is all,” he laughs.
The only time his magic hasn’t worked is due to a guy’s lack of effort, lack of listening to him or lack of faith in results.
“One simple principle I say is ‘to get something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done,’” he says. “Once that clicks for them it works.”
Personal Space is Bravo's home for all things "relationships," from romance to friendships to family to co-workers. Ready for a commitment? Then Like us on Facebook to stay connected to our daily updates.