Playing Hard to Get Makes the Person About a Million Times Hotter, Says Science

Playing Hard to Get Makes the Person About a Million Times Hotter, Says Science

Dr. Roshini Raj explains why we all love the chase. 

By Marianne Garvey

Dr. Roshini Raj explores the science behind playing hard to get in Love 101, a new digital series co-produced by Bravo and Mashable.

"We like people whose feelings we don’t know yet," says Dr. Raj.

Say what? Yes, playing hard to get makes you more attractive. Unfortunately, it seems that playing games actually works.


"Waiting for texts that take forever can drive us crazy but weirdly attract us more to the person playing games," explains Dr. Raj. "Researchers call it the 'uncertainty effect,' that we’re more attracted to uncertainty."

And it goes for both sexes.

Men are more attracted to women who appear disinterested and don't really give them the time of day. But it was the same with women. Dr. Raj says the ladies prefer guys who don't respond to texts right away and pretty much blow them off.

Although it seems to make little sense, it boils down to the reward game.

"When a reward is certain (cheese to a mouse) the mouse is less motivated. 'Hey if this cheese is always going to be there, why should I work for it?'" explains Dr. Raj.

So, a little mystery does work when it comes to attracting a mate.

The one instance where it doesn't usually benefit a person?

"Casual sex. There was no benefit to playing hard to get," Dr. Raj says.

Because if the person isn't interested in anything more than sex, they won't wait around. How wonderful.



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