Alert: You Can Now Get Paid to Cuddle Cats, So You Should Probably Quit Your Job

Alert: You Can Now Get Paid to Cuddle Cats, So You Should Probably Quit Your Job

This is real!

By Kristyn Pomranz

How annoying are jobs, are we right? You have to wake up in the morning hours like a chump, put on clothes, go to an office, read emails (?!?!?!), attend “meetings,” talk to humans—the whole thing is a pretty major racket, if we’re being honest.

A couple weeks ago, we recommended that you quit your 9-to-5 and travel the world with your dog in a converted van. But now that we’ve had time to think about it, that sounds like an awful lot of work and you’re not getting paid on the backend. But do not fret! We have a new plan:

Professional Cat Cuddlers.

Just Cats Veterinary Clinic & Cattery in Clonsilla, Dublin recently posted a job listing for “Cat Cuddler." Here are their employment requirements (verbatim):

  • Are you a crazy cat person and loves cats?
  • Does cattitude come naturally to you?
  • Have you counted kittens before you go asleep?
  • Do you feed the stray cats in your locality?
  • Does petting cats make you feel warm and fuzzy?

Yes, instead of things like “Proven record of month-over-month increased engagement across all platforms” or “Strong work ethic and motivation with a demonstrated history of ability to lead a team and develop talent,” you just need gentle hands capable of petting and stroking cats for long periods of time.

While no salary is listed, the perks are already evident: Mainly, that you pet cats all day, and that your job is petting cats, and you're a professional cat petter.

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