While cheaters themselves are more likely to accuse their parter of cheating, there are actual signs to look for if you feel your partner is involved in some extracurricular activity.
A new study looked at the fine line between paranoia and proof, and found that while some people let their imaginations run wild, others were right to question their partner’s loyalty.
Think you or your partner isn’t a snooper? Think again. A whopping 93.5 percent of people questioned noticed at least one sign that became an actual problem in their relationship. The three most common—observed by 53 to 55 percent of respondents—were having sex less often, partners leaving the room to text, and significant others having mood swings.
Antennae also went up when a partner stared giving unexpected gifts to their spouse or changed the password on their phone, clues that often led to a real-life affair.
Unfortunately, the biggest sign a partner was cheating as contracting an STI, followed by finding nude pictures of someone else on their partner’s phone, and being banned from accessing their partner’s phone entirely. Women were 73 percent more likely than men to think their partner changing their phone’s password was highly suspect, and 38 percent were more inclined to distrust their partner when he or she left the room to text. “While some other signs caused more suspicion, leaving the room to text caused the most doubt,” said the study.
Two ways people privately assess the behavior of their partner without trying to be obvious were one, passively observing how they acted, and two, a full-on active investigation—snooping, spying, and stalking on social media, or even in person.
Active investigation, which 79 percent of people admitted doing, included everything from furtively glancing at their partner’s phone screen while they texted to physically following them without their knowledge. Women admitted to snooping more than men (82 percent versus 76 percent). Following someone resulted in actual evidence 55 percent of the time.
When checking a partner’s phone, 40 percent of the people who took this approach found some evidence of betrayal.
Does anyone ever regret snooping?
On a scale of one (no regret at all) to 10 (most regretful), the average person rated their regret as a three. “The amount of regret someone felt depended on the method they used to reveal betrayal and whether they uncovered evidence. The average man who followed his partner and found evidence rated his regret a 2.3. When he failed to find evidence, it was 4.9. However, he felt an almost identical amount of regret when he checked his partner’s phone messages, whether he found evidence or not,” reported the study.
Paranoia could be projection; Overall, cheaters were significantly more likely to suspect their partners of betraying them. The study also cited The Journal of Sex Research which revealed that “wanting more independence from your partner” and “feeling your partner is not meeting your needs” were two of the most common reasons for cheating.
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