There Are Psychological Benefits to Sleeping In A Separate Bed From Your Spouse

There Are Psychological Benefits to Sleeping In A Separate Bed From Your Spouse

See you in the morning. 

By Jen Glantz
Ariana Denies Sleeping With Tom, Again

When it comes to snoozing the night away, you might be under the impression that all healthy couples must share a bed. You might even think that if your partner snores, tosses and turns, or makes noises when they're fast asleep, that you need to learn how to deal with it, and that alone might be putting too much pressure on your relationship.

Sleep is something we all need to function as the best versions of ourselves, so if you are considering telling your partner that for now on you want to sleep solo, here are the psychological benefits of spreading out on your own mattress. Even in your own room, if you'd like. 

1. You'll be in the mood

Sex can start to feel routine when it’s always done right before you go to bed. But what if you switched up your routine and started to want each other even more when you woke up in the morning because you’d be waking up in different places (AKA down the hall)? 

“A lot of couples push off being intimate because they take for granted that their significant other is always just laying in the bed next to them,” says Samantha Daniels, a Relationship Expert and Founder of The Dating Lounge Dating App. “If they are sleeping separately, they need to make that time to cuddle and be sexual.”

2. Better attitude

When we don’t get the sleep we need and deserve, we can turn mean, mad and just act messed up. Sleeping solo can be the easiest and most aggressive way to change your mood when you wake up in the morning. 

“The amount and quality of sleep we get each night has a large impact on our moods the following day,” says Daniels. “Not enough sleep and you may be grumpy towards your partner and others. Sleeping in a separate bed may lead to better sleep and therefore a better mood for the next day.”

3. Independence

A lot of being in a relationship is learning to compromise. With that, you might start to feel like you’ve lost the opportunity to make decisions on your own and be independent. One thing that sleeping alone can do is boost your options when it comes time to deciding when to call it a night.

“Separate beds allow the partners to sleep on their own terms - we all have unique sleep tendencies and schedules,” says Susan Golicic, PhD and Certified Relationship Coach. “This means each person gets the best sleep they can without being awakened by their partner (tossing, waking, going to bed, getting up, etc.). Good sleep is needed to feel good emotionally and to make good decisions about what we do and say. When we don't have enough sleep, we get more moody and tend to jump to conclusions and place blame more quickly. And this can lead to resentment and arguments.”

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