Can You Guess What Witches Eat in Real Life?

Can You Guess What Witches Eat in Real Life?

Pass the dried bat?

By Drew DiSabatino

If you had to take a stab at guessing the typical diet of a witch, you’d probably go to a few stereotypical places. Maybe you’d think of dried bat wings? (Too hard to collect). A little eye of newt? (See bat wing argument). Children? (Now you’re just thinking of fairy tales).

The real answer, however, isn’t quite so exotic, because NPR reports that the actual shopping list of real-life witches is pretty close to, if not exactly the same, as yours or ours. (Unless YOU’RE the one eating all the dried bat wings, which is messed up—get some help).

Diving into the world of modern-day American witches, NPR looked to the book Witches of America and the documentary American Mystic, both by Alex Mar, to examine some of the common practices and behaviors of the roughly 1 million Americans who today classify themselves as pagans/witches. 

Photo courtesy of "American Mystic."

What they found was that when it comes to their eating habits, today’s witches consume things like—guess what—fruit, nuts, pizza, cheese, frozen cheesecake, and Starbucks coffee. In one particular not-so-witchy-sounding-encounter, Mar describes meeting a redheaded witch named “Morpheus” who greets her at the door of her trailer with “a pan of premade enchiladas.”  

Not to worry, there's cooler stuff too. Mar goes on to describe attending a pagan ritual where she watches Morpheus bake “a bread sculpture of a sun god, lay it out on a dish, and place a dry ear of corn between his dough-legs for a phallus.” The sculpture is then laid out on a hill surrounded by items meant to represent the fertility of the earth: pomegranates and apples. Um, how’s that for witchy?

So real-life witches aren’t broom-riding, bat-eating, cauldron-stirring tricksters—but does that mean we can’t still enjoy our Halloween flashbacks?

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