Bravo Insider Exclusive!

Create a free profile to get unlimited access to exclusive videos, sweepstakes, and more!

Sign Up for Free to View

Accustomed to Customs

Episode 9:'s Associate Editor imagines what she wouldn't claim at customs.

The STA crew nearly impaled each other on a pair of vintage Louboutins this week, going to show you that fashion is the most dangerous game (or is that Yahtzee). Thankfully everyone made it out alive -- heels and hair intact. Let's see what they walked away from the fray with.

A Tough Russian Cookie
Our first consignor of the episode is Yulia. Yulia is what I would call "hella intimidating." She has a fierce Russian accent, a stone cold pokerface, and a number in mind for her Marc Jacobs dress --  making her exactly the sort of client that could banish you back to the tundra. However, the only thing that matters is that Marc Jacobs gown (purple and red, more of this please!) that was designed for Liv Tyler (even if it wasn't worn by "the" Liv Tyler -- what was?).

Tara keeps herself together and manages to make that cookie crumble, or at least break into a smaller more sellable number. Score.

Throwing Louboutins
Let me introduce you to Katherine. Katherine's nobody really. She just lived in Paris and while she was there just rang up everyone's favorite good buddy Christian Louboutin. "Oh hey Loubs. Can you custom make me a pair of shoes? Neat!" So her and her mother just popped over for tea and to pick up some shoes that were never actually produced. NBD!


You can't blame Wilson and Karina for literally foaming at the mouth at this point. A custom pair of black patent flats and some fierce silk pumps seem like the score of the century. Price them to the moon! How can this back up on them.

But, those flats are a little tattered, like "I've worn them a hundred times on the streets of Paris while picking up baguettes to put in my bicycle basket" tattered. And the green pair, though never worn, isn't going to net a ridonkulous $500. And so the STA staff gets into a fight of epic proportions. Wilson gets attitude, par usual, and Tara is not having it. I really don't understand his lack of respect. Even when blinded with a love for a pair of shoes you have to respect your boss, honey. Take it down a notch or you're going to be cosigning your vest on the street corner.

Magically enough, the green satin pumps sell at a more modest $300 to a tall lady who rocks them with cuffed jeans. I'm jealous of both your height and your footwear now stranger.

Lily of the Valley Girl
I have to commend Maya for being a woman that loves all prints. She loves bold patterned frocks (the one she wore to cosign was delightful, while obvs the vintage Valentino was a treasure), and she also loves print print -- like magazines. You know magazines, people read them before Kindles were invented. Maya was flipping through a Harper's Bazaar and stumbled her dress on a model next to Valentino and thusly she no longer saw pages, but just dollar signs.

And so our good buddy from last week. Mr. Keni Valenti arrives to evaluate Maya's gown. As it turns out, the lack of a label is because ladies would travel abroad and rip them out. That way they wouldn't have to declare their designer goods coming back to the USA. What sneaky, brilliant travelers you were! And I thought I was a great packer because I roll my socks!

Unfortunately the poor stitiching means it is not a Valentino exactly. Most likely it was sewn from Valentino overrun fabric, meaning it is worth the $150 she paid for it. But our boy Keni recommends she keep it (why!) and the dress trots back home to Maya's, where she can read magazines in it and imagine i's more amazing than she initially thought.

Check Yourself Before You Dweck Yourself
Let me make one thing clear -- I'm not normally a person who would wear chokers. I associate chokers with junior high dances and Kristin Cavallari on Season 1 of Laguna Beach. But this Dweck jewelry has me feeling feelings I have not had in eons. The necklace was chunky and bold and so sparkly. Most of all, if I take it off Shelly's hand she has the money she needs for her hair! And then she can pick up her younger gentleman, so why not? I'll be buy to pick it up later ladies.


Next week one of my all-time favorite humans Kelly Killoren Bensimon is on sharing some of her dresses for the good of the world. Of course you are sweet Kelly! Of course you are.


You May Also Like...
Recommended by Zergnet