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Fake Out

Lori explains why Dana was so picky when looking for a potential date.

By Lori Zaslow

This week’s episode follows two very different men both in desperate need of change and my help. Let's start with Dana Tompkins. He is the tall, hot bartender who is in touch with his emotional side. Jenn and I met him in Grand Central Station, the perfect location for people watching, since that place is buzzing with all types of people. As they say in NY, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. Well in Grand Central if you can't find someone there, you won’t find someone anywhere. 

I soon learn that Dana has some baggage. He had an issue with every type of woman I pointed out to him. Too tall, too skinny, too much hair, weird toes, etc. I knew that Dana would be a challenge and I needed to dig deeper. It turns out Dana was looking for one specific person -- his ex-girlfriend. During my one-on-one session with him, I learn that Dana is yearning for that emotional connection that he shared with his ex. He needed a major wakeup call, and I was happy to give it to him. I believe that everyone has more than one soulmate, and it was time for Dana to recognize that. 

We have all been in Dana's shoes. Sometimes it is hard to move on because you haven't been able to close that last door. In Dana's case, he was looking for the exact replica of his ex, straight down to the fake boobs. Listen up, Dana, you fell for her heart and behind all boobs (fake or not) there is another heart out there for you. Dana will find love, because there is enough love in this world for everyone who is willing to receive it; he just needs to be ready to open his soul to those new connections without comparison to old attachments.  Dana is two steps ahead of most people, because he is able to show that he is emotionally vulnerable.  I loved that about him, and I bet thousands of you amazing women who saw the show will too. 

Being Way Too Picky

Let’s back up for a second and talk about my Project Soulmate manscaping event. In addition to providing love consulting and dating advice to our clients, I also make sure my clients are well groomed, feeling and looking their best on their quest for love. Thanks to my fab image consultant (Amanda Sanders) we got my men in this episode to put their best face forward. I always say, when you look good, you feel good. Every woman loves a confident man, but not a caveman! That look is not OK unless maybe you are an actor for a Geico commercial. Clean shaven is always a treat, because it’s easier to kiss. 

Jesse was my other project this episode. When I first met with him, it was obvious this was not going to be easy.  Jesse needed a major confidence boost and had to learn not to interview his date just to keep fluid conversation going. I tell my men that confidence is KEY! I was happy to help Jesse since I could see he just needed someone to build him up. My mission -- to find him a smart, sweet girl with a positive attitude. 

Girls are everywhere in NY. One of the best places to pick them up is at the gym. Hey, if men don’t have the balls to do it, I will. This week I met the very pretty and sweet Stephanie while she is working out at the gym. She was all smiles and had just the positive attitude that Jesse needed. And the icing on the cake? This chick is a successful entrepreneur. Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner! 

Working when Working Out

I set them up on a date at Sushi Samba. I was sure a sushi-making lesson would be just the thing to stop Jesse from playing 20 questions and engage in warm and caring conversation versus Interview 101.  I was dying in suspense waiting to hear how their date went.  I met with Stephanie the next day, and I was shocked to learn that after trying to pick a date activity where it would be nearly impossible for Jesse to interrogate her, he still did.  She even told me that she had no idea what he did for a living, since he was drilling her with his questions. 

This date surprised me. It seemed a bit awkward, but hey maybe there was some unexplainable connection going on in between all those awkward silences. I was glad that Stephanie enjoyed herself, but listen up men; you must do more than a toast to a second date. If you like her, always ask her out on a second date at the end of the first date and follow through.  Trust your heart and instincts, the first instinct is the right one if you can tune into it.  Don’t they teach that in Blind Date 101?  Stay tuned, ladies and gents, to find out whether or not Jesse ruined his chances of getting a second date with Stephanie. Don't wait 3 days to call. A lot can happen in 3 days, especially in the city that never sleeps. 

Finding a soulmate isn’t always easy. It doesn’t take one date and that's it.  When I first met my husband, I didn’t instantly feel a magnetic connection and say that’s the one I want to sleep with tonight and marry. It doesn't happen like that.  Love is a process.  You have to nurture love and take care of it.  Love makes you a better person; it lifts you up and nurtures your soul. I am never going to stop believing in love, ever.  

To all my married couples and those in relationships, always make time for each other. The key to a long lasting relationship is spicing it up from time to time and keeping it fresh. Dates are not only for those who are trying to get to know each other. Dates are to ENJOY each other. My sexy husband and I always make sure to have at least one date night a week. And yes to all my Twitter friends, I do buy him roses. 

Facebook and Twitter or learning the trends at my favorite blog.  I would love to hear about the best blind date you have ever been on so please share with me on Facebook or Twitter.

Hope you loved this episode and stay tuned for more love next week. 


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