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No One's Perfect

Lori Zaslow thinks people shouldn't be set on Mr. Right.

By Lori Zaslow

“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, love like you'll never be hurt, sing like there's nobody listening, and live like it's heaven on earth.” -William W. Purkey

My new client Ben -- WOW. Handsome, down to earth, confident, together, knows what he wants, totally empathetic, ready, and real. Deserves a really great girl who will appreciate what he has to offer -- for life. Perfection, ladies? Well, just wait. We're only human.

A Matchmaker's Dream

I never know what I will learn each day. This day, I learned that while teaching my clients at Project Soulmate to date and fall in love like adults, I also apparently need to teach them how to break up like one. Face to face -- or at least voice to voice, please. Like I said: disconnect to reconnect. Can we remember old fashioned respect, regardless of how high tech our world becomes?
Getting to the Bottom Line
But good things are happening too. Quite a few couples are falling for each other. Hopefully for the long haul. And my other clients are almost all willing to work on themselves to broaden their dating pool to "other" girls. A.K.A. the ones who won't think they are perfect, and are not looking forward to putting up with their crap. I've found most solid women are looking for a maturing, growing bond of intimacy and trust. Men resistant to change are generally a long-term growth problem for them. Men looking for the "perfect" woman who see them as "Mr. Perfect" are great for my bottom line (if I can keep them on an auto-renewing retainer), but not great for my passion, which is to end our contract because they are head over heels in love.

Ben seemed to be on red alert for women who want to change him. I was shocked at how fearful he was of constructive criticism and how not open he turned out to be throughout the first part of the process. Upon delivering him what he said he wanted, it appeared his manhood was threatened. Maybe he preferred the pedestal over the girl.

We all have a protective shell. No one WANTS to get hurt. But when your heart is on the table instead of the shelf, you find love faster. Finding true love takes resilience. If you cannot handle criticism after a first date, good luck in marriage -- and ESPECIALLY having kids -- because they will have a field day challenging your flaws.

If at least once a week we could:

1. Unplug our digital devices and plug into our hearts
2. Let down our walls and curb our egos
3. Work through fears and flaws while still loving ourselves
4. Remember everyone deserves love

I know we can all become better friends, coworkers, lovers, and parents and thus much happier, more fulfilled people. So why not just try each day, a little more to let go, have fun, and live in love.
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