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Not My Shining Moment

Stephanie won't deny it: she had a bad week.

Before you read this week's diary, we asked each of the models to send home a video Valentine, and here's what Stephanie came up with.

Whew! What a week!

First of all, let me say Happy Valentine's Day to all my lovers, and a very special Valentine to my man! Your video message was the most romantic thing ever -- you made me cry, I miss you so much, biscuit. I'm going to attack you when I get home so be prepared. Happy Valentine's, Daddy, you'll always be the man in my life!

Now onto this week, which was filled with less love and happiness. I think its safe to say that I had a bad week.

The photo shoot wasn't exactly, my shining moment either. It was really difficult, they kept telling me to yell, bitch, move and scream more profanities at Shannon and Casey, honestly it was really hard for me. I would be mad if I walked in on that, but I really couldn't get into it, to do it. You have to suck it up and just power thru it when you have a job to do. I also felt that I didn't have anyone to work off, like Jacki, Perry and Ben did. I felt like they all fed off each other, that helped a lot. I'll admit it I felt quite ridiculous, it was hard for me to forget true reality, and believe the scene that was happening- I'm not an actor!

I felt silly yelling and screaming all that it just felt really forced and fake. I really think I can express my self without yelling at my fellow models. After all didn't they say that modeling is silent acting.

I kind of expected to be in the bottom three, after the photographer put me in his bottom three. I tried my hardest with Holly to redeem myself, I thought we had a really cute walk. So yes I'm in the bottom three at last. I feel bad but the panel gave me comments about my weak performances on the assignments, then they say that I'm being fake for the cameras in the house. To me, maintaining my sense of self is the most important part of this crazy experience. I had a bad week, I'll admit it, I hope that it doesn't send me home. I'm not done here yet! I love my famly and I love cake face, myatt!

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