This week has been the most difficult, nerve-wracking week yet. We were divided into couples for our challenge this week. I knew it was coming but I was not expecting to be with Frankie and haven't got along since day one. We never really had fought but we would grip each other like brother and sister, so before we shot at the Chelsea Hotel they explained what the challenge was.
We were asked to model lingerie, the prop was a bed but the catch was you had to have a "chemistry" while being intimate, I swear I've never been so nervous in my life for a number of reasons, firstly faking intimacy while having chemistry. My fiance and I don't even have sex right now and on top of that I had to forget everything we just said to each other. I was sincerely very nervous and it showed in my pictures, I looked very uncomfortable and the chemistry wasn't there, I wanted it to be there but I guess my nerves got to me. Right before the shot I had a glass of champagne to loosen up. Obviously I didn't drink enough, or I would have done better.
Frankie has decided that the reason the photo shoot and catwalk didn't go well is because I was drunk, which is absolutely ridiculous, everyone that was of age drank a glass before going on and that just really hurt me because I've only drank twice . I know Frankie wants me to go because I'm his biggest competition, but to lie to America and say the reason our photo shoot went bad was because I was drunk was the lowest most dirtiest thing to do to someone. I was put up for the vote which was expected. I disappointed myself and the judges, but I was just hoping that they would consider the other weeks and see my dedication and how much I want this more than anything and it sucks that my time could be cut short.