Dr. Simone on the Definition of "Apology"

Dr. Simone Whitmore looks back on the Lemon Squeeze.

 

I would like to start my conversation with a huge thank you for all of the well-wishes and encouragement on my appearance on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen. Jackie and I had a great time with Andy. I look forward to my next opportunity to make another house call on the Clubhouse. I hope during my next visit, Andy is off the wagon and will have a cocktail with me.

Speaking of drinks, vodka, and wine, I would like to address a couple of points based on what we have witnessed on the show. I love to have a drink or two when I am not on call and vodka is my drink of choice. As most of you know, I can get loud when I am talking, and it happens even when I’m not drinking.  

Let’s count the drinks in all of the episodes combined and see who is "very busy" with drinks. I have tried to stay above the fray when it comes to the other women, but I am getting too many comments from my friends, family, and patients to ignore this one.  

Let's talk about Messyville and Mrs. Quad! She wants to know why I let Jackie belittle me. The answer is simple. Neither Jackie nor anyone else can belittle me, because I know my worth and am quite confident in myself and all that I have accomplished. Small jokes and jabs don't affect me. If you (Mrs. Quad) are going to name characters, make sure you do your homework. It isn't Uncle Woody, it is Woodrow who is married to Aunt Ester on Sanford and Son, so "check your email." And based on Quad's Tipsy Boots on the wine tour and on the bus, Woodrow might be more in line with her lane. However, it is a free country and a wine tour, so do what you have to do and put your "two cents on your tab." Mrs. Quad has so much criticism about everyone on the show including me, but when Mariah calls a spade a spade (calling Chloe and Cari dogs, blaming Quad for ruining her party, saying Quad “can’t take the ghetto out of the girl”), we hear crickets...  I’m just saying!

Now on to the show: Jackie was definitely disappointed in the outcome of the Lemon Squeeze. Her intentions were good, and I know her sorority has used this event to work out many problems and issues. Our group wasn't ready for this meeting and the result was predictable. Jackie is one of the strongest women I know, and she truly understands the concept of accepting an apology gracefully. Some of the comments made at the Lemon Squeeze were very mean spirited and hurtful, but Jackie didn't take offense. Stay tuned for more on this subject.

I'm glad we had a chance to have Toya and Eugene over to our house to discuss the details from the Lemon Squeeze. As you can probably tell, I married a man (Cecil), who also is very opinionated and was happy to share his feelings with us on the reason the Lemon Squeeze was not a success. He made some great points regarding truly listening to the feelings of all parties and not discounting their beliefs. Toya and Eugene are very adamant that no harm was meant in their discussion regarding the family secret. However, based on Mariah's comments the conversation was malicious. My only hope is we can get to a resolution soon.

I would like to talk about the word apology. The definition of the word is "an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret." A sincere apology is a very humble act. Now, the acceptance of an apology is an individual decision and should not be taken lightly. It is a true disservice to the person to accept the apology to claim forgiveness and none is actually felt. These points are going to be very important on this show and going forward with all of the ladies.

The wine trip was an event that I had some apprehension leading up to the day. These feelings were based on the outcome of the Lemon Squeeze and our track record on getting past the family secret. However, as you can see we had a great time on the wine tour and everyone appeared to let down their guard for a brief moment. So, I guess alcohol at the Lemon Squeeze might have been a good idea. Just kidding!  I was glad I had an opportunity to talk to Mariah and apologize for not reaching out to her. I did realize I was wrong for not reaching out to her. I also finally received the answer on why Mariah was so upset that she believed she had to fight. Now for Mariah's acceptance of my apology, she said she accepts it, so only time will tell, if she was really sincere on this forgiveness.

It was interesting to see the husbands discuss the family secret issue and the aftermath of the fight. As Cecil mentioned behind the bar, Aydin was hurt based on having to discuss the family secret before they decided the time was right. He mentioned the cliche of being able to forgive, but not forget. This is always a tricky concept, because you don't have to forget, but you have to truly forgive to release the anger and move forward with a person. This goes back to the acceptance of an apology gracefully, and I believe that Aydin said he has forgiven Eugene, so I assume that Aydin believes that Eugene’s apology was sincere. Only time will tell if they can move forward.

I can't wait to see the next episode to see if all of the progress that we made on the wine tour can get the ladies back together. Stay tuned.

 

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