Drops of my favorite mimosa (champagne and orange juice) on my keyboard, liquid cooling my throat, bubbles having a prolonged party traveling the roller coaster of my throat as if immediately transported in my blood stream that is flowing into my brain, the view of great Los Angeles at my feet from the Penthouse floor of my famous hotel. Breeze is touching my shoulders lightly, sun is warming my bronzing skin. My mind is free after an hour of invigorating yoga at West Hollywood Equinox followed by the no less invigorating Michael Levine's industry breakfast. It is now 3 p.m. on Tuesday in the time of forever. Could it be more perfect?
My mind is holding onto this one thought that had lived in my brain since last week's happenings of my life reinforced by the viewing of the current episode of Miami Social.
A thought about assertiveness ....
Assertiveness is linked to self-esteem and considered an important communication skill. As a communication style and strategy, assertiveness is distinguished from aggression and passivity. How people deal with personal boundaries; their own and those of other people, helps to distinguish between these three concepts. Passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to harm or otherwise unduly influence them. They are also typically not likely to risk trying to influence anyone else. Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm others while trying to influence them. A person communicates assertively by not being afraid to speak his or her mind or trying to influence others, but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others. They are also willing to defend themselves against aggressive incursions. (Wikipedia)
In the fast paced world of todays relationships, more so in Miami, a week is considered to be an anniversary (Michael and Diego's date), 6 years is not enough to get married and have babies (Hardy and Trixia), 13 years is enough to break up (Kat and Ben), 2 years is not enough to establish the basics of respective communication ( Lina and George) and one night is enough to have a walk of shame morning after (=we all have been there, I am sure). All of the above mentioned could have been avoided, softened, lived through and enjoyed so much more if we all were the masters of assertiveness.
Like the birds in the sky in the beginning of episode clouding the sky screaming wildly we get carried away inside our brain when we don't have enough self respect to stop for a second and assess the situation. We yell because we dont know better (Lina and George). We agree nodding when we really should speak up (Ben telling Kat he can't wait for her things to be out of the house). What we should do is start loving ourselves enough to REALLY ask ourselves what is that:" I WANT" and after we answer that question politely, make a statement to the rest of the world of our knowledge and feel accomplished, because that is where success in everything in our lives starts. Respecting ourselves we immediately respect other peoples wishes, desires and aspirations without feeling squeezed, pinched, ultimately defeated because someone has the guts to do what we cant put our mind to. BEING OPEN AND HONEST WITH OURSELVES.
I know this is my lesson for the next few months, and I'm practicing every day. ASSERTIVENESS. I hope you will try that too and let me know how that worked out for you?
Now to the lighter stuff :) Three most memorable moments of the episode 5:
1. The Kat's Inner whore night out. Remember I mentioned that Kat would divert attention of men to me that were brought by Michael to meet her? Well, she did it big time at the very end of the night. Remember when Kat mentions it's HER music playing and she is off to dance? Well, she had to trade in my business card to the video director for the latin music to be put in Aerobat. She muscled it out of me, telling me she had a business client for my photography and she will introduce me to him, meanwhile she negotiated with Ivan (the video director) and latin music being put on the speakers after he pointed at me and asked for my card as a payment. Little did she know we would end up working together on HUGE project called ART OCTAGON that would premier during ULTRA festival in Miami with success.
2. Operation Smile. It always warms my heart to see other people helping others. I wish I was there. I was traveling to see Angelika in Lugano and could not make it to the event. I myself am nursing an idea of a charity helping single mothers to achieve their full potential, once in a while giving ability to let their hair loose and be cared for and have a support system that will make them feel NEVER ALONE.
3. Michael's date. He looks so super cute and vulnerable. You can't help but smile with him. I wish him to figure out his business and have time to work on his relationships. I think he makes a great boyfriend and I wish him that with all my heart.
I hope you guys and girls take my words to heart about being assertive and try to implement it into your lives. If we all start with the man in the mirror ( thank you Michael for this song) life will be better all around for ALL of us.
Until next week...