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Just Say No

Mary shares the troubles of her 24-hour install and her love of the finale episode

By Mary McDonald

I LOVE OUR LAST EPISODE. Yes I am screaming. Those are screaming CAPS, yes. I love it for multiple reasons.

I think watching how Jeffrey and Ross's job gets all screwed up, Kathryn's client Shannon pulling a number, and I show up to my installation being based on inaccurate information is really closest to what a lack of glamour it all is during the process -- except all that make-up and hair I find the time to do of course. It is just a series of new problems that are constantly being solved.

People write me all the time and say I want to design because I have good taste and style, and it reminds me when I was young and you had no idea how much of a process and test of patience everything was to get to this final stage of "style and taste." One must have a deep connection to wanting to create a vision and not just sell furniture to people because for every great idea you have there are about ten roadblocks to getting there.

I think Kathryn's job shows what it is like when it is a bit about a client wanting to direct and treats you like a hired assistant and the misperceptions of how much a designer can control. Once a client starts micromanaging the process, which is inevitably by nature full of snafus, well it goes downhill because they are only micromanaging because they can't handle the nature of process to begin with (not a lot of people can). Kathryn is not alone in the result of her project. We have all been there.

As for Jeffrey and Ross, I feel like I have sat in so many parking lots on unloaded furniture thinking there has got to be an easier way. I could relate completely to what happened. It was also true to design that sometimes a screw up adds just the right amount of almost wrong to a job to become genius -- like his bar stools. Sometimes not, but quite often, if you let the mistake speak to you sometimes it adds a dimension to the space that is off-kilter enough to seem geniusly deliberate.

As for Nathan, he is still in trouble not really going over board give mums the kudos she needed. It is so like a my gay son/little brother to not really care and want to know what's for dinner or when I can drive him to soccer. That is what he gives me. Sometimes Nathan tells me a guy tells him I am pretty or has a crush on me, and he tells me it really grosses him out because I am his Mums. How did I become 25 years older to him in his mind? I think we are eight years apart!

I cannot tell you how much hairier my install problems were than they looked. There was a lot of screaming by everyone, including myself, when the construction guys brought in 4' zig zag walls and they were drawn at 8'. No one wanted me to look like a screaming banshee and edited out everyone's yelling. Thank goodness. We all looked rather civilized. Note to Self: Don't do anything with a 24-hour installation period. As Nancy Reagan said, "Just say no." Frankly I loved my YSL meets Ziggy Stardust take on the Antiques show. It needed an injection of hip to showcase the antiques and 20th Century Maison Jansen pieces. I was super happy with it, and think Kenna did an amazing job on her project managing. The tears didn't hurt the television aspect either. I was thinking, "Wait, are you really going to cry here on our reality show? This is TV Gold and all natural" Then I had to give her the hug because she works her bum off, and I totally love her.

Now to Martyn. Martyn, Martyn Martyn you were born on a red carpet. I adore Martyn and think he should get an award for the most delicious, fun, generous, and rabble-rousing designer every day of the week. Bravo to you dude, YOU are Delicious. I think I am going to have to go work on an English accent now. After all, my father is British, and I need to work this thing.

I hope you enjoyed our season as we all had a blast doing it. I think I am going to get on the treadmill and try to lose the 10 lbs I obviously gained over the season from Episode 1 to 8 in case we get a Second 2. Thanks for watching and have a great summer!


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