In my family, therapy was our second religion. Family issues? Off you go to therapy. Parents divorced at age 10? Therapy. Parents remarry, divorce (several times each)? Therapy. Dad died at age 19? Therapy. Dealing with dad’s death and a whole host of issues? In and out of therapy over my lifetime.
I’ve always enjoyed going to therapy actually and learned many of the skills I use to help others on my radio show during my sessions.
I began to block my emotions at a young age. There was so much turmoil in our home growing up that I did what many kids do -- shut down. The tumultuousness of my childhood really wreaked havoc on my emotions.
Due to all this, I woke up around the age of 27 and got back into therapy to deal with all my childhood issues. I felt that I’d been coasting through life, not truly feeling as much as I should. Through therapy I learned to feel my emotions and deal with a lot of my past.
My current therapy is much more infrequent. I won’t tell you how many hours I’ve logged in therapy, because it would amaze (or perplex) you, but let’s just say I don’t feel like I need to go as regularly anymore.
But since everyone lately has been saying something is wrong with me, I figured I’d go see my therapist, Paula-Jo, for a therapy tune-up.
I hadn’t recognized how much my past was still on my mind and potentially affecting my behavior, especially when it comes to dating. I guess we never truly escape our past, but there’s important work we all should to do to make peace with it. And it might take you one year or 20 years, but either way, if you’re still holding on to stuff from a long time ago, it’s a good idea to find a therapist.I’ve often said on my radio show Sex With Emily that I believe everyone needs therapy at some point in their life or relationship. The benefits of therapy can be astounding, and you get out of it what you put in. I’ve often heard people say, “Oh yeah, I went to therapy... a few times.” Which in my book doesn’t count, because if you really want to “do” therapy, it can take a year or years to really get to the good stuff and see real change in your life. Take the time to find a good therapist. Sometimes you might have to see two or three to find one that you can work with.
On to phone sex: we have many different types of guests on the show, and I always enjoy having a good phone sex operator to show us the ropes. Talking about emotions and what you want sexually is a great use of phone sex and an excellent way for couples to communicate. Like I always say, communication is a lubrication!
Phone sex frees your inhibitions so you can express your fantasies or desires to your partner verbally, and you’re not face to face, which can be a good thing if your confessions would normally leave you red-faced or flustered. Phone sex can be an amazing tool for couples to spice up their sex lives and even take it to the next level.
Not only might you have fun and flirty phone sex, but if you truly speak your libidinal desires to your partner, you might get what you wished for. As I said during this episode, “Sometimes I think I’m an alien from another planet.” Close family and friends seem to find it strange that I don’t desire the traditional lifestyle that many people singularly strive for their entire lives.
This can be hard to explain to my loved ones, who want me to be happy and think the road to happiness and fulfillment is paved with children and marriage.
I’ve come to realize that I’m not oriented to think there is one perfect path to live. Sure, I’m open (as you know) to finding someone and perhaps settling down with one person, but I by no means think this is the end goal of life, therefore I don’t see my life is a failure if I don’t take the traditional path.
Love hearing all your feedback. Until next week...