The New Girl

The New Girl

Neill compares being attacked by a Southern belle to taking some hair spray in the face.

Yup, that’s me! How y’all doin’ tonight? 

All right, so let’s address my “Welcome Back To Dallas/Attack Party” and the pink polka-dotted elephant in the room. Yes, that was…awkward with a capitol “A” and a drawn out “d”! The only thing I actually learned that night is that being attacked by a Southern belle is like being shot in the face with a can of hair spray (Aqua Net to be specific). LOL! At first you’re in shock, and then it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.  So wow. I sure didn’t expect that. The funny thing is that I was actually excited to meet everyone that evening -- especially the girls! Yet instead of being welcomed, I became a walking target encountering completely negative, closed off, judgmental strangers. What do you know? So I ended up disappointed, and it wasn’t that fun. At all. Especially when you’re the new girl.

Anyway, reflecting on that night, do I think it was completely ridiculous? Yes. Did clueless strangers make arrogant and catty comments towards me? Yes. Do I think I deserved it? No. What did I do wrong? Pretty sure nothing! I’ve made a choice in my life to be positive for myself and towards others. I will not let petty situations or people bring me down. Plus I’m a new mother, and I’ve got to tell you, I’m a great one. I’ve never worked so hard in my life to balance this new chapter. After being out on my own since I was eighteen, after all the experiences I’ve had and struggles I’ve been through to get where I am today, I’ve found happiness within myself.  And I’m proud to admit I’m actually a healthy, loving, caring, driven, and passionate young woman. 

So when Courtney blurted out some of those not-so-nice things within the first few minutes I met her, she left me stunned like a deer in headlights.  She asked why was I out having dinner and not with my son with a snide look as if it was bad parenting. I was a bit stunned, because I’m with him most of the time.  And nights out are few and far between! So it kind of hurt like a bee sting.  Or maybe a big cat attack and scratch. Rawr! Yikes. 

However, after the shock, I decided not to take it to personally. You see there is no way she can understand what it’s like to be a single mother balancing a full-time career. As a responsible parent you do your best to be there as much as you possibly can for your child. But it’s a challenge when you are also single and trying to balance a full time career.  I don’t have time like Courtney or other girls without kids to sleep in, shop, go out with friends, and even date! I have to schedule everything in. On top of that…I’m only twenty-three. I do want to do that stuff sometimes. And that’s hard enough to do as it is. So come on! Give a girl a little break. I’m pretty sure I lead a harder, more sleep deprived, busier life than most. And despite that, guess what? I wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s also the most rewarding, life changing, beautiful blessing I’ve ever experienced. I see things differently now. I’m more aware. I am not focused all on myself anymore and I have more compassion for other hardworking people trying to balance kids and life.  

So this is what I will proudly say.  I am very proud of myself, and I know someday my son will be too. I am going to provide a good life for my son and set a good, strong moral example for him as he grows up.  Yup. I’m doing all that. All on my own.  And I know from the bottom of my heart, just because I have a child, that doesn’t mean I have to lose sight of my goals. In fact, it’s important that I don’t. So say what you want to say! Think what you want!  I’ll still be positively driven and more passionate than most.  I’ll stay strong and nonjudgmental, and if you don’t like me, OK. We don’t have to be friends. And I won’t hold it against you. Still love you! One day you will understand. And despite any struggle or pain you encounter or feel right now, I can attest that “it gets better." In fact that inspired a song I recently wrote with my new band, Kitty LaLa… So slap some headphones on and take a listen HERE.

And check out me and Major!


Lots of Love and Happiness,

Neill Skylar 


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