Do Relationship Quizzes Actually Ever Reveal Anything? We Asked Some Experts

Do Relationship Quizzes Actually Ever Reveal Anything? We Asked Some Experts

They will tell you something ... just not what you think. 

By Marianne Garvey

Is he ready for marriage? Is it love or lust? How strong is your relationship?

People love trying to find the answers in old-fashioned relationship quizzes, and you can find one to determine whatever you want online. But do they actually tell you anything or are they just a waste of time? Let’s just say unless it’s a deep psychological personality test administered by a professional, they really shouldn’t be taken too seriously. Basically, they’re like horoscopes and you can twist them any way you see fit.

"Relationship quizzes are mostly for fun — they don't offer very deep insight into why we repeat relationship behaviors that may not serve us,” says Andrea Syrtash, dating expert and author of He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing.) “That said, anything that encourages someone to take a moment to reflect on her interests and pattern in dating may shed a little light on her approach.”

Flirting and relationship coach Fran Greene, author of The Secret Rules of Flirting, says although the tests may not give accurate answers, they do give you a few minutes for self-reflection.

“I love relationship quizzes, not because of their authenticity or scientific backing, but rather they get you to think about yourself, your partner (if you have one) and the status of your relationship. They are especially helpful after a painful breakup. They enable you to look back and do a ‘relationship autopsy’ so you will not make the same mistakes over and over again.”

She says quizzes should be viewed as a tool to help you gain insight, clarity, and understanding about who you are and what you want.

“Quizzes have a great way of being able to get you to answer questions that you were not willing to ask yourself. They are also fun to do with a trusted friend. We all have done them (me too) because we secretly want to see how our relationship measures up. But, if you find yourself addicted to relationship quizzes, it’s time to
take a good look at what’s happening in your life and perhaps seek a professional to help you sort things out. As far as the scoring goes, take it with a grain of salt.”

Clinical psychologist Carrie Gottlieb agrees they help you dig deeper into yourself.

“I think quizzes can be a fun thing to do from time to time, but definitely should not be taken too seriously,” she says. “Perhaps, though, they can be used as a means to generate more thoughtfulness about a particular topic within yourself, or as a springboard for more in depth conversations with your partner. However, if you read something that feels troubling or upsetting, it is best to seek out professional help, rather than let a quiz tell you that something may be problematic.”

Relationship expert and health and fitness advocate April Masini says taking the quizzes is a way to kill time, but also to laugh at yourself.

“It’s also a way to learn a little more about yourself in relationships. Those relationship quizzes can stick with you when you get a result that really resonates,” she says. “They can make you remember that you really need to date outside your type — or that you’re someone who avoids conflicts at any cost — or any number of things. They can help you see something about yourself, or remember something about yourself, [and] that can be helpful.”

And she has good advice — take a quiz with someone else.

“Whether it’s a partner or a best friend, you can learn a lot about yourself and the other person, and they can learn about you too, by taking these quizzes together,” she says. “There may be questions in the quizzes that you always wanted to know about your partner, but were too embarrassed to ask. For instance, how many partners you’ve had, or when you lost your virginity, or if you ever slept with a boss or a work colleague. The quiz opens up your conversation with a partner or a friend in a way that you weren’t able to without it. In fact, you can have a lot of party fun by using these quizzes to get the conversation flowing — literally, at a party. Theme your get together on these quizzes. They will open up the conversation and bring people together, in groups, who don’t even know each other.”

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