Since the whole country is basically in a fight over politics, it feels like it's basically impossible to date without expressing your thoughts on the current administration — however you may feel.
Families aren’t speaking, marriages have broken up, brawls have broken out... how can you possibly fall in love with someone who has wildly different views than you? (You can, but more on that later.) Maybe it’s best to just lay it out there before you even meet.
That’s what dating app Hinge is doing by allowing users the option to state their views on their profiles. Under a section labeled “virtues,” users can state where they lean politically, by checking off “liberal’, “moderate”, “conservative,” or “other.”
“Political views are one way members can express themselves and get additional background on who their matches are before meeting up IRL,” a Hinge spokesperson says.
But is it useful to dismiss a potential love before you even meet? Yes, you can weed out some extreme thinkers, but aren’t differences OK? When it comes to politics, though, many people think it’s extremely important to be on the same page as their partner. According to a Plenty of Fish survey, 59 percent of singles won’t even start a conversation with someone who has an opposing political view. 44 percent said they wouldn’t date someone who voted for Donald Trump.
That’s not the case for Mandy Stadtmiller, author of Unwifeable, and her comedian husband Pat Dixon, host of CrimeReportNYC, who have opposing political views but manage to make their marriage work. She tells Personal Space it's all about how they communicate those views.
"Pat and I make it work because we rarely talk about politics, and when we do, he never brushes aside my critiques or anger at something Trump has done or said or tweeted or lied about. Pat, to his credit, explains his point of view thoroughly, honestly, and respectfully," Stadtmiller says. "I will admit though, that when we've had nasty fights in the past I have resorted to the kind of Twitter insults that might make even POTUS himself blush."
How do they get back to a good place?
"Essentially, I weaponize my husband's politics as evidence of some overriding character defect in him that I've been stewing about bitterly while keeping it in my back pocket all this time. The good news is I don't think I've screamed, 'You're just as bad as Trump!' while throwing 'I Voted' stickers and pink pussy hats at him in at least a few weeks now so I suppose you could look at that as some kind of progress," she adds, laughing. "I will say that during the Kavanaugh hearings though, I couldn't take it. I stayed with a friend for a few days because I was so furious that my husband was A, a man; B, a Trump supporter; and C, did I mention he was a man? I was crying and yelling and, to his credit, he was very patient and kind and listened to everything that hearing brought up for me. The one thing I will say did always manage to bring us together was that at least we both thought Michael Avenatti was creepy."
At least they've found common ground.
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