More couples sleep apart than you think — nearly one in four have separate bedrooms. But, sleeping separately has become so common in relationships, there’s a new term for it called “sleep divorce.”
Whether it’s because of snoring issues, or just plain wanting to be alone, it’s become less taboo to say goodnight and head to your “wing” of the apartment or house.
And guess what? Experts are saying sleep divorce is saving marriages. See you in the morning!
Science — and personal experience — tells us that sleep deprivation is the equivalent of slowly going insane. It takes a toll on our bodies and our minds and, if our partner is the one causing our (wide-awake) nightmares, then this sounds like a pretty small price to pay for peace.
Psychology Today has studied couples who regularly sleep apart and says that it’s not usually fighting or separate lives causing the nighttime separation. Different schedules, snoring, insomnia, bad mattress, a hot room, the TV on, children bed, and odd noises can all contribute to a fitful sleep for one partner.
“Poor sleep also can have negative effects on relationships,” PT says. “Lack of sleep may diminish the positive feelings we have for our partners. Researchers found people with lower quality sleep demonstrated lower levels of gratitude, and were more likely to have feelings of selfishness, than those who slept well. People who slept poorly showed less of a sense of appreciation for their partners. What’s more, poor sleep on the part of one person in the relationship had a negative effect on feelings of appreciation and gratitude for both partners.”
How to approach the topic:
“Tell your partner that you really love them but you’d be [less resentful of their sleeping habits] if you slept in separate beds. Suggest trying it for one or two nights a week and see how it goes,” advises PT.
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