Let’s face it, The Real Housewives Of New York City's Luann de Lesseps didn’t have the best start to the New Year, but no doubt she’ll bounce back better than before. Her ex-husband Tom D’Agostino, meanwhile, seems to have learned nothing from his short-lived marriage, behaving like his old bachelor self, complete with an “unwedding” party he threw for himself to celebrate, well, not being married to Luann, or anybody, for that matter.
A divorce party is one thing, but come on. An unmarried party? Way to twist the knife. When a marriage ends, both parties are usually hurting in some way or another. He’s the one who willingly walked down the aisle — celebrate being free, but let’s not be tasteless.
Popular New York City party planner, Seri Kertzner, known as Little Miss Party Planner, has planned every party theme under the sun — but says she’d never plan, or even attend, such a heartless celebration.
I think tasteless is the best word,” Kertzner tells Personal Space. “It’s insensitive. It’s impersonal…Why are you then calling attention to it? Talk about it with your friends and family, of course, but having a party and making a mockery of it is gross. As a planner I’d certainly never be part of planning or attending that type of thing.”
While a divorce party often celebrates a chunk of years spent together, maybe shared children, or starting a new chapter, it’s coming from a place of good.
“A divorce party you may even do with your ex, like ‘let’s make the best of it,’” Kertzner says, adding that an “unwedding” bash is “behind your back and totally tasteless.”
She suggests for men:
“Going to a bar and having some beers over a game makes sense to me,” Kertzner says. “Or stay in and order pizza and wings and drink some whiskey.”
“Lots of martinis,” Kertzner laughs. “And maybe a roast that you can do to this guy with your friends, where everyone says what they hate about him.”
But most importantly, if you’re going to do something like that, do it “mindfully and quietly.”
“You do it intimately, tell your friends, ‘hey this sucks…Let’s get together and support me (in private).”
According to the Huffington Post, there is specific etiquette that must be followed if you do decide to throw a divorce party.
You can throw it yourself if it's coming from a place of good, but "keep your guest list to close friends and relatives who will get it."
Wait until the divorce is finalized, and if you're hosting, you pay. Don't expect people to fork over money for your failed marriage.
And be careful with trash talking.
"Beneath the surface of most divorces there is a great deal of hurt and pain...Even when we are done with a relationship, hearing that the ex is schtupping someone new can cause twinges of jealousy, anger or regret."
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