So, You Just Broke up ... and Then Your Ex Immediately Starts a Family

So, You Just Broke up ... and Then Your Ex Immediately Starts a Family

Cassie and Diddy ended their 11-year relationship last year — and she’s already engaged and expecting a baby with trainer Alex Fine.

By Marianne Garvey
Cassie, Alex Fine, Diddy

Less than one year after her split from Diddy, Cassie is engaged to her trainer boyfriend, Alex Fine who, yea, she’s already expecting a child with. Cassie and Diddy previously dated for 11 years, and ended their relationship in October 2018, one month before the mother of his three kids, Kim Porter, passed away suddenly. (Cassie announced her pregnancy in June, and her engagement in August.)

Meanwhile, Brandon Jenner's divorce from Leah Felder had barely been made public when he announced that he's having twins — with someone else.

“We are at 12 weeks now, so near the end of the first trimester,” Jenner revealed to PEOPLE of his impending babies with new girlfriend Cayley Stoker. “We’re madly in love and we are very excited about this!”

Jenner said he is in a good co-parenting space with Felder when it comes to their 3-year-old daughter, Eva. They even broke the news to her about the new babies. 

“Leah, Cayley and I sat down with her and told her what was happening, and she was very excited and happy. She’s super excited to be a big sister," he said.

Jenner says his breakup wasn't drama-filled, but still, when someone you were with for so long moves on so fast, it can hurt. 

“Leah and I split up in a really beautiful way, and I think we handled it in the best way possible. It was a process, and it took some time to finalize," he said. "And now that Leah and I have moved on, I am starting a family with Cayley, and I’m so happy about it."

Similarly, after Southern Charm New Orleans' Reagan and Jeff Charleston finalized their divorce, she married Reece Thomas on December 9, 2018, and then the couple welcomed a baby girl, Reece Ellis Thomas, on June 12, 2019.

Therapist Jason Eric Ross tells Personal Space that some of the time, people can move on before the actual breakup even happens.

"Breakups happen. Some people move on," he said. "And some move on before the breakup even happens. If you’re the other person, the one who didn’t move on so fast, you have some processing to do. 

"What comes up for most in these cases is mistrust and betrayal and it’s usually painful," he adds. "Learning to deal with it as an adult makes us resilient. You’re going to actually need some gratitude here. Being grateful for what you had and for the opportunities that will arise from your newly-found freedom."

He says that if you're moving on slowly, try to tell yourself that what happened with your ex and their new partner is OK, and that you will find happiness, too.

"If you were moving on slowly you’re going to need to tell yourself that it’s for the best and that you can now go after true happiness and fulfillment," he says. "Most people will stay stuck and angry. Too much anger will deplete you. Make sure you talk. Don’t keep it in. Too many people shut down. Process those feelings and fast so you can move on quicker. Preferably with a professional."

Concentrate on yourself in the meantime, he adds: "This is a great time to double down on self-care."

"If someone else isn’t going to think you’re the best thing on earth, then you need to believe that you are and it can start with giving yourself healthy physical and emotional gifts: reading, meditating, exercising, and healthy eating."

There is also a lot of advice out there for women who have an ex expecting a baby with a new partner. 

One report offers this advice for coping:

"The sense of rejection and loss can be paralyzing. Others may be relieved that their ex has found happiness elsewhere and feel a sense of freedom to move on guilt free. But, however you feel about the news, you have a new situation to navigate and this is more challenging if you have children with your ex.

“This is life changing for your children, as they will now have a half brother or sister in their lives. They will have another family that they are part of and relationships that you will probably never really know much about unless you are on good terms with your ex and new partner.

“The advice in these situations is always the same: do the right thing for your children. I know this can be extremely difficult to do as its natural to be angry and hurt and to not want your children to be part of any other family. However you are the adult and need to be a good role model for your child."

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