Women in Their 40's Who Date 20-Something Men Actually Really Have Their S--t Together

Women in Their 40's Who Date 20-Something Men Actually Really Have Their S--t Together

It's not desperate by any means. In fact, it's awesome. 

By Marianne Garvey

Wendi Deng, went from being the ex-wife of billionaire media mogul Rupert Murdoch, 86, to getting serious with 21-year-old Hungarian model Bertold Zahoran. She’s 48, and he’s just six years older than her oldest daughter Grace, 15.

The two have been publicly dating since May, and is he most serious relationship since splitting from Rupert in 2013, after 14 years of marriage.

According to her boytoy’s Instagram, he has a successful modeling career, working on campaigns for Polo Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein.

Best Trip @orlebarbrown

A post shared by Bertold Zahoran (@bertoldzahoran) on

Kate Beckinsale had no shame in showing off her model boyfriend Matt Rife in public, making out in full view of paparazzi more than once. She’s 44, he’s 21, just three years older than Kate's daughter Lily, 18. According to Entertainment Tonight, the two announced to friends they were “officially boyfriend and girlfriend” earlier this year after meeting through mutual friends, following Kate’s divorce from director Len Wiseman in 2016 after 12 years of marriage.

And of course there’s 38-year-old Kourtney Kardashian, who, after a decade-long on-again-off-again relationship with the father of her three children, Scott Disick, has moved on with much younger boyfriend, Younes Bendjima, 24. He was even invited to the Kardashian family holiday party this year, signaling things have gotten serious between the two since they started dating last year after meeting in Paris.

i'm on my way

A post shared by Younes Bendjima (@younesbendjima) on

Relationship expert Evan Marc Katz has counseled many people on the question of what 20-something men want with 40-something women.

He says if the woman looking for a long-term relationship, she's most likely wasting her own time.

“However, if you’re looking for good, clean (and not-so-clean) fun with a young stallion, you can have an amazing time. In fact, I would encourage you to do so. And take lots of pictures,” he adds. “I’m not here to set the rules for society. I’m here to observe society and report back to you how things usually work out. And for every Demi and Ashton (Celebrities, They’re Just Like Us!), there are thousands of other instances of cross-generational relationships that die a quick, painless death. Why? Because he was born in the 90’s, right about the time that you were losing your virginity in college. Because he’s been in the workforce for oh, about four years. Because he may be a great communicator, mature for his age, and relationship minded, but he’s also, y’know, a baby.”

Katz says a woman’s biological clock poses a problem if she wants kids (or more kids) or if he wants kids but she’s done having them. “This is a valid concern to men looking to have families, so let’s not overlook it. But still, I’m a big proponent of life experience and wisdom,” he says.

If neither desires children, then you have a far better chance.

Dr. Elizabeth Lasky, Ph.D., LCSW, brings up a very valid point to Personal Space, saying it’s often a strong, independent woman — not a desperate one — who gets herself a younger man.

“We are all in relationships for different reasons. When people pick partners in the same age range and stage of life, often they have shared interests and work together to build things such as a family and creating a home,” she says.

“When a woman dates a much younger man, she is often at a stage of her life when she does not need a partner with whom to build something. This type of woman often has her finances, life, career, and relationships in order so that she is only looking for a partner to have fun with. This woman doesn’t need a partner to complete her. She wants to have fun, discover new things, have a relationship with a lot of energy, and have great sex.”

Nothing wrong with that.

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