So Something’s Changed With Your Friend’s Appearance … What Do You Say?

So Something’s Changed With Your Friend’s Appearance … What Do You Say?

Brandi Glanville can't move her upper lip and someone asked why. 

By Marianne Garvey

Brandi Glanville addressed her facial movements after some fans commented that her upper lip wasn’t really, uh, moving.

In a YouTube video that she posted on her blog, Bicoastal Beauty Unfiltered, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum just admitted some botched hair removal on her lip with a laser was the cause.

"Everyone wants to know why my top lip doesn't move," she shared. "I had laser hair removal on my upper lip around, oh gosh, 2009, maybe 8? And I got a third degree burn. And my face on the right side doesn’t move the way my face on the left side moves. So that is why."

"I have some nerve damage and scar tissue. So I talk out of the side of my mouth. If you don’t like it, suck my d---," she added.

Wow, OK. She also admitted that she's undergoing her second round  of vaginal rejuvenation, with a: “Who is going to get this new vagina?”

It was the fans that were weighing in, likely from the safety of behind their computer screens at home. Would anyone dare say anything about her procedures to her face?

Kyle Richards showed off a new set of teeth at the taping of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 8 Reunion, and came clean right away. 

Sharing a snap of herself getting ready backstage, she revealed: "I am showing off my new smile. Even though today's not really a day of smiling, I can't help myself." 

Kyle plugged her cosmetic dentist, saying, "After hearing about [Dr. Michael Apa] I started following him on Instagram & loved his work. After doing my research I knew I would be in the best hands with Dr. Apa. If you look through my Instagram you’ll see I always smile with my mouth closed. No, my teeth weren’t bad. But they were smaller and didn’t show enough when I smiled and it bothered me. Will show the after pictures soon."

Then there’s Ben Affleck’s BFF, Matt Damon, who spoke out for Ben’s right to tattoo his back, no matter how awful or disturbing or large the ink is.

Ben’s back tattoo was thought to be a fake for a movie, until the big, giant phoenix that takes up the majority of his back as spotted again while he was training shirtless for an upcoming role.

“It’s not one man’s job to tell another man what he can do to his back,” Matt joked on The Daily Show. “I support him in all of his ‘artistic expression.’”

We can all talk about surgery when it comes to celebrities, guessing what they’ve done and judging how it looks … but what if it’s our friend who’s undergone … something we can’t quite put our finger on?

Can you ever say a word?

“Much like a pregnancy, you don’t mention it unless they say something first,” Diane Gottsman, etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas, tells Personal Space.

“They can be recovering from a successful surgery, but are temporarily bruised,” she adds. “Or, it can be botched and they will no doubt be sensitive to the unfortunate situation. If someone asks you…’does it look really bad?’ you can be kind without being harmful, or making it worse. You can say something like… I see what you are talking about but I’m certain the bruising will go away soon.”

The Mercury News reports that Botox, liposuction, tummy tucks and brow lifts are so common these days, the down time is minimal and results are often quite subtle.

“Yet when someone shows up with even a slight change in appearance — especially around the face — friends and colleagues aren’t always sure how to react. Some can be less than polite. Others even blurt out cutting remarks, proving without a doubt that cosmetic surgery — while a deeply personal decision — is one that’s on public view,” they report.

As for a face lift or noticeable face work, when we change the way we look, it almost automatically changes the way others react to us, they report, so it’s best to sidestep surgery comments and just ask, “how are you feeling?”

The etiquette expert adds that even though you may disagree with the results of the surgery, it’s really not your place to say anything unless they bring it up first.

"Even then, remember what your mother taught you … If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. It will keep you out of hot water and perhaps salvage a friendship," Gottsman says. "And one more thing. It’s not polite to comment on other peoples features. Especially when there is clearly something 'off.' Like scar tissue or nerve damage. Some people like over-enhanced body parts while others prefer a more natural look. Elective plastic surgery is often subjective and it’s best to keep our opinions to ourselves."

Surprisingly, those who had the surgery will want to talk about it at some point, and surgeons actually recommend revealing you had something done if you did. People tend to lend their support and tell you what they think … in a nice way. Unless you are scaring children and then it's back to the doctor you go. Plus, not hiding whatever you had done makes it a lot less awkward when a friend is staring at your new face and you're pretending you always looked like Gisele.

Most noticeable? Nose jobs and hair transplants, so a simple “you look great” works in a positively subtle way. You don't want to ask where all that hair on your formerly bald friend suddenly sprouted from. And "hey, love the new schnozz!" doesn't really work under any circumstance. 

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