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The ABCs: Amanda, Babs, and Cockblocking

Amanda gives more insight into her history with Jeff.

By Amanda Bertoncini

Hey guys! Wow… I can’t believe that our first episode just aired! I laughed throughout the whole episode… until this flea in a red bikini wouldn’t get away from me and my boyfriend Jeff! There are not enough bottles of Off! at CVS pharmacy to get that nasty bug out of my face! Erica is my friend and it took place at her cousin’s house. Why wasn’t this pest kicked out? Also, Joey brought this person, and while the drama was going on, she was nowhere to be found. When I did find her, she didn’t want to get involved. If the situation were reversed, I would have taken care of business and told her it is time to go. I am very protective over my friends and felt like nobody was defending me the way they should. Ashlee was the only one who really spoke up and tried to settle it. Poor thing even cried for me because it was so shocking. This flea should have been kicked out as soon as the offensive word, which I will not repeat, was yelled at Jeff. I am a big supporter of the LGBT community and I definitely don’t take the “f” word kindly… and I don’t mean f---. I threw my drink where it should go -- at the garbage pail where it belongs. Funny how this piece of trash told me I was cute and kept yelling at Jeff. She is envious of Jeff's and my relationship,  and I am not surprised why…we are in love. Just to make it clear to all of you since the pool party scene was chaotic, Jeff was single when he was looking to find someone to date. He was 36, and just like any guy, he was searching for the one. He was 38 when we were harassed by that disgusting human being…. WHY WOULD I CARE AND WHY WOULD THIS EFFECT ME? Isn’t that crazy how someone would even remember or bring up such old nonsense? I don’t even remember what I wore three days ago. Her five seconds of fame are over and I already forgot her name.When Ashlee was driving to Freeport, her conversation with her dad was funny, but it was offensive. I got a kick out of her conversation with her father, meanwhile Freeport is a great place to go by the water with fun bars and restaurants. Definitely not the ghetto… Also, when Ashlee got a mani/pedi with her father, I was rolling off my bed in laughter. Ashlee is definitely precious cargo! Her dad is one of a kind and definitely a Gitza-Neshuma (a good Jewish soul). He is a very nice man and father with amazing toes covered in VANILLA SHIMMER. 

My date with Jeff was very romantic, and I finally told him how he is “the one,” and I could see us together forever. Jeff took that to heart and felt an extreme feeling of relief because he feels the same for me. It is refreshing for the both of us to know we are on the same page. I gave Jeff head…. Oh come on -- you guys all have dirty minds! I meant the fish that our waiter from Limani was serving. So, Babs calling me on my date? Not surprised! Totally not OK! She always checks in, and maybe wanted to join us! Jeff understands that Babs can inject herself into my life and wanted the conversation to end, so we can enjoy ourselves.The bathing suit shopping scene with my mom, Babs, and Jeff was my favorite! Jeff wearing the “AB” visor was adorable since they have my initials on it. The whole back and forth exchange with the three of us was hysterical! I love shopping with my mom, but when she asked to go to Erica’s pool party my mouth dropped! Then when she said we were “cockblocking” her from attending, we were in fits of laughter! How does my mom even know what that means?! Ha! It went from finding swimsuits for me to Babs always going back to “me, me!” I found it hilarious when Babs compared a swimsuit to a Missoni dress. When I said it looked more like a maternity bathing suit, she freaked thinking of being a grandma. Jeff was like a pageant judge during my mom's and my fashion show. His facial expressions were PRICELESS! It was very important for Jeff to find the hottest string bikini in the shop! I think he likes seeing me in them just a little… don’t you think?!

Xx Amanda

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