The Patron Possessed Me

The Patron Possessed Me

Mike discusses GG's uninvitation from Cabo and how Persians are blessed.

By Mike Hess

Tonight's episode is one of my favorites so far. We got a little bit of everything. Yes! Everything!

The family meeting between Reza, Asa, MJ, and me quickly went from fun to serious talk. An amazing spread of beautiful food and champagne was prepared by my boy Reza as we got down to business. We needed to discuss who is worthy of going on the much-needed trip to Mexico I planned and hooked up. It was unanimous that GG was not allowed to come. I knew I had to be the one to tell her she's not invited. If the rest of them were allowed to break the news to GG, I know they would not have done it as gently as I would.

Honestly if it was up to me I wouldn't mind if she came, but I respect my girl Asa and her wishes. I want a peaceful weekend anyways. I have some MAJOR surprises for my fam (Reza, Asa, MJ, Lilly, and Sammy) this weekend that is gonna make them feel like VIPs -- Very Important Persians! I managed to find the biggest baddest Mercedes in all of Cabo. Nothing but the best for these princesses. Me Cabo is my spot, got a suite there and a nice cabana at Nikki Beach.

Wow wow wow!!! I was drinking from the second we landed (shhhhh. . .couple on the plane too)! I was f---ed up. LOL. I was so drunk that I had a guy in a speedo and a fuzzy hat humping my leg! Yes I did check out Lilly. Can you blame me? I was checking to see who's boobs are bigger, hers or mine? LOL! I had to go back to the room and get some sleep before I made an ass out of myself. Reza was right, the Patron had possessed me! Next thing I know, the crew shimmied there way into my room. How did I end up naked in the bathroom with company? Well MJ and Asa, now you know why I'm so cocky. LOL Perian men are blessed, well at least I am. You hear that Reza and Sammy. . .longer and thicker than yours. MJ is my Dools PR person! LOL

Glad I was too wrecked to make it to dinner! I guess MJ is being exposed. Does she have a pill popping problem? Is she an alcoholic? Those are some serious allegations.

I just think that MJ is a party girl that kind of gets out-of-control sometimes. I'm sure we will see how all this plays out this season. MJ, drinking in moderation is cool. She does nothing in moderation though. So I would say yes, her drinking may be a problem. I haven't seen her pop pills with my own eyes so I can't judge her on that yet.

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