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Lilly: MJ and I are Not Friends

Lilly defends her birthday guest list and explains why she invited MJ in the first place.

By Lilly Ghalichi

Yes, I realize my party was a teeny, weenie bit over-the-top, but so what? I didn’t ask anyone to pay for it or throw it for me. I did it by myself, for myself (well with the help of the greatest party planner on earth, Sunny from White Lilac Inc.).

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I have never thrown myself a birthday party, nor have I really celebrated any of my hard work and accomplishments in life in a large fashion. I have always been too busy working to take time for myself. Turning 30 was a huge milestone for me. It was hard mentally to turn 30 as I always imagined myself married with children at this age. I had just broken up with my lifelong boyfriend, and couldn’t be further from that dream. Instead of dwelling on things I cannot change, I decided to have an over-the-top, silly prom-themed celebration for the bright future to come.

I had the most incredible time, and it was so humbling and honoring to see my friends from all over the world, all walks of life, make the time to come see and celebrate with me.

Unfortunately, my birthday party couldn’t go drama-free with the Shahs around. I love each and every one of them, but come on guys, really?!?!

MJ and I are not friends. She has been nothing but rude and catty with me since the moment she laid eyes on me. With that said, I honestly don’t dislike her. In fact, I find something about her to be very charming, almost like a mischievous, loveable little girl. Some time has passed since we last saw each other, and since I was inviting four of her close friends to my party (along with 296 of my own friends that do not know MJ), I figured I would extend an olive branch to her and invite her. A new beginning. I also decided to invite both GG and Asa even though they don’t get along because I figured it would be a neutral environment for them to have an opportunity for a new beginning as well. 

Since so many guests were involved, an electronic invite was the easiest way to tackle the party. There were two ifferent invites sent out, one for the dinner which started at 7 p.m., and a second for the party which started at 8:30 p.m. I didn’t have room to accommodate everyone for dinner, so I only invited my closest friends to that. I decided to invite the entire Shahs group to the dinner, including MJ, and both GG and Asa. I didn’t want anyone to feel left out.

The evite was crystal clear that an RSVP was required in order to reserve a seat for dinner, or attend the party, as a seating chart and strict guest list would be involved. For those that had been sent the evite but had not RSVP’d, we sent out a second email reminder that an RSVP must be received by a deadline date or else their seat would be given. Every single person out of the 150 dinner invites managed to RSVP one way or another (email, text, phone call), expect for MJ. I was a little offended that she would not want to accept my invitation, but it was her right, so on the deadline date, I gave her dinner seat away to a friend.

I received MJ’s text asking to RSVP to dinner the day before the event. There was zero chance I was now going to un-invite a real friend whom I had given her seat to on the RSVP deadline date so that someone I knew didn’t even like me or really want to be there and didn’t even have the decency to RSVP until the day before could now come to dinner. Placecards had already been printed, seat name holders had already been printed, and the friend I had given MJ’s seat to was excited to be attending dinner.If MJ were a close friend of mine, perhaps I would have made it work and asked someone I had given a dinner seat to if they could please give up their seat for her. However, MJ is not a close friend, and I wasn’t willing to give up a seat belonging to someone that is for her after she couldn’t take one minute of her time to click YES to an RSVP.

Let's not forget that MJ had her 40th birthday bash just a few months prior, an event I wasn’t invited to. Not a single member of the group had an issue with the fact that I wasn’t invited, nor did they bring it up to her even once before, during, or after her birthday party/stripper bus limo ride. I never mentioned it to anyone, and it didn’t really bother me because it was her moment, her birthday. It should be about her, not me.

To have the group constantly talk about MJ at my birthday party is rude and disrespectful. I understand that they are friends with her, and they wished she were there for their own selfish reasons, but this is not her birthday party, and the 296 other guests there are not worrying about nor do they even know or want MJ there. If Reza, Asa, Mike, and GG were my real friends, they wouldn’t be worrying about it either. Not tonight anyway. 

What hurt me the most is that many other guests overheard the Shahs group talk about the MJ situation on multiple occasions during the night, as well as them making comments about how absurd my party and/or dresses were. I received numerous calls days later from friends to warn me about catty remarks they heard from the group. That’s really hurtful and embarrassing. I would never, ever attend an event thrown by any of them only to make fun of, or talk negatively about them or their event. That is so tasteless and childish.

A birthday party is a time of celebration for the life of the person whose birthday it is, not a time to discuss problems and what someone should or should not have done relating to guest. If the group had an issue with me not kicking one of my friends out of dinner to accommodate their friend MJ the night before the party, they should have discussed it with me at some time after the party, it should not have been a topic of discussion at my party, especially to me.

To see Asa in interview state how wrong it was that I not make room for “a good friend” of mine is “ludicrous” as she put it. Did Asa really just call MJ my “good friend?” Is that a joke, Asa? MJ has been anything but a good friend to me -- she has been the exact opposite, and Asa knows that firsthand. If MJ were a good friend to me what Asa is saying would be correct, but she isn’t a friend at all, so me even inviting her in the first place was very generous. Asa being the woman of fairness and integrity that I know she is should not have made such a ridiculous statement towards me. Why didn’t you say something to my “good friend” MJ about your disappointment in her when I wasn’t even invited to her party? I fed and entertained 300 people I love that night in celebration of my birthday. Whether they were young, old, tall, short, rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight, is irrelevant. I love my friends for the people they are. 

I am hurt and offended by the group. They have a double standard when it comes to MJ and me, and the shade thrown at me for my party was really unnecessary. 

With that said, I do feel bad that MJ felt uninvited, it was never my intention to make her feel that way. My intention from the start was to make her feel exactly the opposite, invited, which is why I chose to invite her despite our past.


Lilly Ghalichi

To learn more about me, visit my website at, get your own #GhalichiGlam and rock my Lilly Lashes at, and follow me on Twitter and IG @LillyGhalichi.

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