Living your life on camera is surreal -- you end up dealing with things twice. I've been off of the social media radar for several weeks now. I wanted you guys to have time to watch and process the past few episodes without me interjecting my future sense of growth and resolution. I wanted to blog after this episode to talk to you guys about my journey.
So many people have asked me if I regretted my outburst, and although I'm not happy with what I said, I'm very grateful to the situation, because it brought some very old, deep seeded pain to the surface. I was very grateful for the therapy from Dr. Downs. He taught me something I was unable to do on my own, and that's to put myself in someone else’s shoes. The things I was dealing with had nothing to do with Sasha, the poor guy was just a catalyst for bringing the pain, rage, and emotion to the surface. I'm thankful that he accepted my invitation and my apology, but I have to tell you that I waited until I got to a place when I could offer a genuine apology, and regardless of his response, I would leave with gratitude. I now truly understand the power of an apology. It doesn't just help the person receiving it, it's just as beneficial to the person offering it. Who knew that I could have such a growth spurt at this point in my life?
Celebrating with Adam and our close friends was really special. Moving in with him has been one of the best experiences of my life. I know the caviar was way over the top, but I don't think you can understand my relationship with caviar, unless you’re Persian or Russian. It was an amazing night and the first time we had guests over in our new home. I will always remember that night, and I cherish the fact that MJ and Asa are as close as they are now. [video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/select/BXQY_tlxIuX4?form=html]Finally we get to the set of Scarface! Who the hell were those guys? Something tells me that I don't want to know where their money comes from. I probably shouldn't even talk about them, I'm not sure how safe that is, but it makes me sad that Mike has to sink that low and associate with those kinds of people to make a buck. Sheep or lion? I'd rather be an ant or even a piece of lint, as long as I'm not associated with those people.[video_clip_url:http://player.theplatform.com/p/PHSl-B/yT7k3t_YLXoZ/embed/select/KKPsnEEi2CwV]
Thank you guys for watching, and regardless of whether or not my struggle makes sense, I appreciate the fact that you watched and followed the journey!