When you’re in a serious relationship, that hasn’t taken you down the aisle yet into the world of marriage, people in your life will start asking you a serious of personal questions.
Questions like, “When are you going to propose?” or “Do you see a future together?” or the question that can get any guy’s boxer shorts in a twist, “Is she the one?” While there are many ways a person can answer that question, there are ways they can answer it that prove, on the spot, that they aren’t thinking about engaging with a future with you, and may make you want to consider whether or not they are just wasting your precious time.
This very thing went down on Sunday's episode of Southern Charm New Orleans when Tamica Lee was again asking (or grilling?) Justin Reese about his relationship with his girlfriend Kelsey. His reply that "she is the best" didn't quite answer the question to Tamica's liking ... but was it a sign of impending doom?
Well, it depends. Check out these four popular responses to the question “Is she the one?,” and whether or not relationship experts think these are good, bad, or just plain old sad.
1. “Yeah, it feels right.”
While love can make you feel a whole lot of things, from overwhelming anxiety to pure and utter bliss, hearing the one you’re with say that it feels right is a very good sign.
Carla Romo, a certified Dating & Relationship coach who empowers clients that feel stuck and stagnant build purpose and confidence in their dating life, says that “It feels right” is something you want to hear from your man.
“This is promising because it sounds like the person is in alignment with how they feel and what they want for 'the one,'” says Romo. “They also use the word we which suggests a healthy partnership.”
2. “Well, she’s really great.”
Sometimes our words say more than we think. Romo says that when sometimes asks whether the person you’re with is the one for you and you answer with a comment that just expresses, “Well, she’s really great,” something could be wrong.
“There is definitely hesitance and avoidance because they are not actually answering the question,” Romo says. “This indicates that this person is not confident in the fact that this person is "the one." Given that they won't acknowledge the actual question is a red flag that they are maybe not being true to themselves or their partner.”
3. “No question.”
The best answer you can receive is one that’s rolls off the tip of their tongue and feels like a no brainer. Romo says that the answer of “no question” is a sure sign that the relationship will continue on.
“This is a great sign for someone who knows exactly that their person is 'the one,'” Romo says. “They are confident and answer it directly spot on. This also shows that this person has really thought about what they want in 'the one' and recognizes that they found it.”
4. “I don’t know ... yet.”
They say that in a relationship, when you know, you know, and until then, you’re waiting for the moment when it all clicks. But after you have been with a person for a good amount of time and they still can’t give you an answer of whether or not you’re the one, Romo says that’s a red flag.
“This is definitely a red flag because there sounds like there are some blocks that are preventing this person from choosing a partner that fits what they want,” says Romo. “They are just settling because they feel a need to find the one.”
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