Ask the Matchmakers: The Man Has to Plan

Ask the Matchmakers: The Man Has to Plan

Our matchmakers talk commitment issues and who should plan the date.


I have been off and on with this guy for years now. I want more, and he said at one time he wanted more, but we still haven't committed. We have great chemistry, but my friends don't like him and tell me to forget about him and move on. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be great. PSM85

I think you already know the answer to this. First of all, remember, YOU are the prize, not him. He should be a man and be courting and pursuing YOU –- not being lazy and having his way with your emotions. And I hate to say it, but it sounds like he is. You gave him control, you let him come and go as he pleased, and you let him get what he wanted without having to give you anything of substance back in return, primarily commitment.  It's time to take back charge. Do the "take away" with him, but be prepared to back it up. Let him know, "I'm at a point in my life where I want to see things move forward, get serious with someone, start a meaningful relationship, get married, have kids. And it seems like that's just not the path you are on." Once he's out of your life, you'll be able to reboot and attract the RIGHT guy for you. And who knows, if this guy you're seeing now really does love you, he'll come back begging with his tail between his legs prepared to give you the world. -Destin

Why did Keith plan the date rather than Bryce? I realize she doesn't have a clue, but shouldn't the client plan the date? ViewerP

Not in my club! The man is still the man. He needs to be the hunter. He needs to be the decider. He needs to be the date planner. Plus, imagine if she would have planned the date? OMG! Ack! -Patti

Be sure to leave your questions in the comments!

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