The Walking Dead - AMC

Rachel: Are those penguins? Joe:No, they’re zombies.

Emerson: It’s a walker rave. It’s like walker Coachella. It’s not that different from the actual Coachella.
Blake: Who’s the headliner at Zombie Coachella?
Emerson: Lana Del Rey.

Princella: I would have to run every day on the treadmill so I wouldn’t get winded and left behind.

Ladies of London - Bravo

Glamma Ayn: "I would like to think that I'm a MILF." Scott: They’re so civilized, but in a bitchy way.
Blake: It’s understated shade.

Rachel:It must be nice marrying into bureaucracy? What is it? Joe: Aristocracy?

Blake: It looks cold and rainy. We would be sleeping in through the hunt. We would be brunching through the hunt, actually.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - The CW

Destiney: I’ve only been a crazy ex-girlfriend one time. And that was just because I needed to prove a point.

Emerson: She has one of those “my life is terrible/Sigourney Weaver” haircuts.

Andrew:What is she doing? Is she trying to get all pimped up? Is it pimped or primped?

Married at First Sight - A&E

Emerson: I’m a little nervous about the ice capades routine in the kitchen.
Blake: It does look dangerous

Teddi: Would you rather have a bike or a baby? Sue: Right now? A baby!

Julie:Is it sickening? They're annoying. Brandy: I don't know if it's sickening or just to us because we're awful people.

Fargo - FX

Brandy: Even regular people did coke in the seventies.
Julie:Yup, it was like Red Bull.

Destiney: Oh, yeah it’s in Minnesota! Have you heard their accents? It's gnarly, I love it!

Emerson: Why does it feel like everything in the 70’s was orange, yellow, and brown?

Cathy: They’re in the middle of nowhere! Do you know how long it’s going to take for Dominos to come?

Blake: We gotta have blood on the snow or else it isn’t Fargo.

Little Women LA - Lifetime Joe Resnick:Is like 'Housewive of Beverly Hills' but with little women? Rachel:I don't know about Beverly Hills... Brandy: To little women who have better bodies than us.
Julie: Literally, I could not even wear a bikini, but they all can.

SNL with Amy Schumer - NBC

Emerson: Amy’s already a better porn actress than most porn actresses.
Scott: Is this what straight porn is like? Ayn: I’m going to get my glasses, I want to look up Nicki Minaj.

Scott: There was more cleavage on this Saturday Night Live than there's been in months

Vet School - Nat Geo Wild

Rachel: They have such perfect teeth, these vets. It’s like they went to Dental School then they went to Vet School.

Rachel:I'm sorry, but now I've lost faith in Cornell University Vet School.