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Why Are Women Still Being Judged If They Don't Want Kids?
Women (like Vanderpump Rules' Ariana Madix) don't need children to make them happy, but there's still a stigma.
To have a baby or not? It’s a life-changing question, as a baby is serious business. So why does society still judge women who have decided they don’t want kids?
Diane Kruger, 42, admits she was “too selfish” to have kids sooner, but then she met Norman Reedus and changed her mind. “I didn’t think I wanted children for a long time. I was too selfish. But by the time I got to about 35, I thought, yes, I do want one. But then you have to wait for the right person to come along.” The two now have a baby together, but are keeping most of the details under wraps.
Chelsea Handler? Not interested. “Well, I just don’t think it’s the best use of my time,” she said in 2016. “I’m just not interested. Becoming a mother is something that I take so seriously. People need to really want to become a mom. Honestly, it should be hard to become a parent.”
Sarah Silverman wants to live her own life to the fullest and not worry about having a kid. “As a comic always working and on the road, I have had to decide between motherhood and living my fullest life and I chose the latter,” she explained on Twitter. “So this is just a lil f--k all y’all, because you can’t be a woman without sacrifice, and that’s the fact, jack.”
Vanderpump Rules' Ariana Madix, for one, is so tired of people always asking her why she doesn't want kids that she threatens to leave any interview where that's asked. (See for yourself in the After Show clip above.)
The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Marlo Hampton says she’s happy without any children, and explained that it’s society that puts the expectation on women to have a baby. Eva Marcille took a dig at her for not having kids or a husband on RHOA, but Nene Leakes defended Marlo, calling it a “low blow.” "Having kids and husband is a choice,” Nene pointed out. Marlo added that she’s happy with her 14 nephews and would even like to become a foster parent one day. “I feel like if it was meant to be it’ll be,” she concluded.
These women are not alone — overall, the American birthrate is sinking. Nearly 3.8 million babies were born in 2017, and that’s the “lowest number in three decades and down two percent from 2016," according to a report by the National Center for Health Statistics.
So, how to handle the weird societal pressure? You actually don't owe anyone an explanation, but the question of why you may want to remain childless is inevitable. You can just say it’s your choice — and it is. “For generations, women who weren’t feeling the parenting pull usually gave in and gave up, thanks to social, spousal or parental pressure. And that was the recipe for misery, the fuel for all those furtive, chardonnay-fueled ‘I Regret Having Children’ posts and pages,” reports the WP.
What to say to nosy people who ask what's up with your womb? Here are 30 great responses right here.