Luscious Needs a Licence

Things that made me giggle, cringe, or just left me confused:

1. What are you looking at your watch for? Because it's on my wrist, and I can. He has a point, I saw it with my own two eyes, and it was definitely on his wrist.

2. What is my freak number? First of all, who feels like changing pee-pee sheets after sex? Second, I still believe food products "down there" is a yeast infection waiting to happen. And thirdly at the end of the day it just feels like way too much work. I would be pissed if Noelle had an "accident," and peed in the bed. How would I explain mommy peeing in the bed? 

3. I still never figured out if Dr. Muhammad (I want drop the Dr. until I know for sure) is a doctor or not. Am I the only one still confused? This is supposed to be a "yes" or "no" question, right?

4. Dogs don't bark at parked cars. I actually tested this out with my brother's dog Dusty, and it was true. As long as my car was parked, crickets. The minute I pulled off, he lost it!

5. Prove you are a woman, and I will prove I am a doctor. I have to be honest, I almost kind of like this guy for Sheree. He really pushes her buttons. But then again, I'm a Pisces, I like everybody.

6. Have I ever peed on anyone? Intentionally? Not yet, but I plan on peeing on Peter after I finish writing this blog to boost my freak number. That should raise it at least 5 points. Sorry, Peter.

7. I guess they were not a match made in heaven. Nothing like your friends showing support when your world is crashing down around you. Did someone pull down the shade?

8. Anal sex should be higher than a 7, at least a 12. I was with NeNe on this one. I say you should also earn double points and free tickets to SIX FLAGS.

9. I was going way out of my element to even go out on a date with you! What does everybody have against the Hoilday Inn? 

10. Give me back all the vacations, my labor pains, the shoes off your feet, the shirt off your back, the sausage and eggs you ate for breakfast, the pillow you sleep on at night, the cough drop I gave you when you had a cold, the stamp I gave you to mail a letter, the air inside the house you breathe. Give me that back! You betta preach NeNe, just take it all back girl.

BONUS 

The size of Mr. Luscious's (aka Mr. Bladder Infection) pee-pee. Does that thing come with a leash or papers? He should have to have some kind of permit or a license! I would have to get something in writing, somebody could really get hurt.

Q and A

Yes, Peter is Jamaican, that's the accent you guys are hearing.

Yes, Peter put the engagement ring on the wrong hand. He was crazy nervous, and I was too surprised to notice until you guys pointed it out. I have since corrected this.

Yes, Peter really does have five beautiful kids. Six including Noelle.

Yes, when I wear my hair short and spiky it is my real hair. The long hair is a weave, obviously.

Yes, NeNe and I really are good friends, and she is not interested in Peter. Trust me, all they do is argue, but she does like chocolate men. No disrespect to my light skinned brothers.

Yes, I really am from Alabama. Grew up in Tuscumbia. Shout out to all my people in Bama! Love y'all!

Yes, I really did take the leftovers home from the wedding tasting, and the filet mignon did make a great sandwich. I split it with Peter.

Yes, when I say my friend Boris, I am referring to Boris Kodjoe. Nicole and Boris a great friends of mine, and I love them both dearly. They actually helped convince me to move to Atlanta and they have since moved back to LA. Thanks guys.

Yes, Leon (Noelle's dad) was in The Five Heartbeats, Temptations, Waiting to Exhale, Cool Runnings, Cliffhanger, Women of Brewster Place, Oz, and I forget the movie he did with Tupac. There's more that I'm probably forgetting. Oh, Maddona's Like a Prayer music video, he was the black angel.

Yes, I am really going to do a beauty blog and give modeling advice. It's coming. 

Yes, I gave more than $20 at Sheree's Dancing Stars of Atlanta event. I think I speak for the rest of the girls that attended; we were not informed that it was a charity event. We just thought we were invited to watch her perform. I gave what I was comfortable giving, and if anyone wanted to give $1,000 they should have, regardless of what the rest of the table was doing. The only money that I count is mine.

Think I answered all the questions from my comments, so let me know if I left anything out.

In closing, let me introduce you guys to my BFF Kithe Brewster. We have been friends for the past 20 years, and we have been through a lot together. When I was pregnant with Noelle and had to be rushed to the emergency room because of complications, he was right by my side. Leon was in LA shooting The Little Richard Story (Oops! Forgot to list that one), and I was in NYC. He also threw Noelle's 1st birthday party (Leon and I were away working), and we were so grateful that Kithe and Lydia (Noelle's nanny of nine years) came through for us. Kithe and Noelle have always had a special bond, and they are very close today. 

Kithe Brewster is a huge celebrity stylist to the stars (just Google him, if you don't believe me), and he has made women from Julianne Moore to Heidi Klum fashionistas. He has always been there for Noelle and I, and we are fortunate to have him in our lives. He has my back and I trust him completely.

Follow me on twitter @cynthiabailey10 and friend me on FACEBOOK. Love you guys! 

Kisses, 

Miss Cindi B