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It's a Wonderful Life
Kyle explains her fear of flying and why she chose to be a part of the show.
Oh my goodness, here we go! I feel like I've been perpetually pregnant and the baby is finally coming. A strange mixture of excitement and fear. What will people think? Will I come across as I really am? I went into this project knowing I had to be me 100 percent. That's NOT always a good thing. Letting your guard down and the world into your home is very risky, I know. A risk I felt like taking. I do have a wonderful life and some ask why I would do something like this and mess with a good thing ... Well, honestly I felt that my family and I are solid enough to handle it. Plus, we were all up for the adventure.
This first episode you're just getting to know who each of us are. On our trip to Sacramento I was ready to have fun! I thought it was funny that Lisa would bring Jiggy to a basketball game, but I suppose if I could have brought one of my kids I would have. And she DOES think that is her child. I was really hoping Kim would make an effort with these friends of mine and expand her social circle. I was nervous, because I could feel that Kim wasn't thrilled to be there, and I really just wanted to have fun and not have to hold her hand. UNLESS of course there was turbulence. I do NOT like to fly. Period. End of story. Anytime I fly ANYWHERE I think ... well, this could be it. I try so hard not to think like that, but I just can't get my head around the concept that this gigantic piece of machinery is 35,000 feet in the air and I'M SITTING IN IT. With my life in a total strangers hands. I was less worried before I became a mother. I had my 1st baby at 19, and that's when the real worrying began. What if something happens to me? Who will love and care for them the way I do? Now I really understand how my Mom felt.
That is why I feel it is my responsibility to look after my sister Kim. When she needs guidance or advice, I try to do and say what I know my Mother would have. At times I feel like I am channeling my Mom. I think sometimes Kim appreciates it and other times resents it. I can understand why motherly advice coming from a baby sister may feel like meddling, but I do care about my sister. No, we don't always see eye to eye, but I'm sure those of you with siblings can understand that.
Thanks for reading my blog. It feels good to share these thoughts that have been on my mind! Until next week!
Kyle
