Get Ready for a Darker Brandi

Awwww. I'm so excited you all finally get to meet my maker, mother, and my love mamma Judy Glanville. My mother has always been the most giving woman I know, so when it came time to move I knew I could depend on her for help.

My parents have been married now for over 44 years. Normally my dad would have come to help me move as well. Sadly, at that time he was really struggling with some health issues, and we were unfortunately not on speaking terms. My father and I are a lot alike -- we are both outspoken, strong-willed, opinionated, temperamental -- and who do you think I learned the "f word" from. (Side note: my mother has never said that particular curse word -- but has made up for it with many others.) So I'm sure one can imagine what fights between my dad and I must be like. I do not like to argue with my dad, especially now with his health in a not great place -- so I am eager to make up with him as soon as possible.

That said, I gave my sweet and very laid back mom a tour of my new rental home. She doesn't seem overly excited by it, but that is just her personality. She really is happy for me. . .I swear! Going through some offices boxes we found some of my old journals and silly poetry books. Looking through them, I randomly come across a cute poem I wrote about the fact that my mom never calls me, we laughed so hard we were in tears.

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Right around the time of my mom's visit I started to feel an overwhelming anxiety in the pit of my belly, similar to the one I felt years before when I fell into a depression while going through my divorce. It was the darkest time of my life, and with the help of therapy, anti-depressants, and a whole lot of white wine, I finally was able to find my happy again. With my dad ill with heart problems and us not talking for almost six months now (our longest break ever), I was starting to feel a little hopeless and that darkness was creeping back.

Since my divorce my dad has been my main man -- the only man that I knew I could count on, who would love me unconditionally and never leave me. I was starting to feel like I had lost him too. So get ready for a lot of a darker, slightly depressed Brandi -- with a little excess drinking and a little excess sadness thrown in -- as I take the journey to try to repair things with him. I am very self-aware, and I know when I am in a good place and when I am not. I have a great support group of friends around me that don't judge me for my faults or mistakes and who help me through my harder times. Moving on. . .

Watching Carlton and Kyle's lunch just seemed to be all sorts of uncomfortable, and I am glad I wasn't there. While I am very afraid of bees myself, I either scream and run or try to swat them away into the air. I have even been known to save a bee or two out of our new swimming pool. However when it comes to spiders, I am a straight-up murderer.

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I love Kim, but her dog scares the crap out of me. But then my little a--hole dog Buddy scares the crap out Kim so I guess we are even.

I think watching Kim and Kyle reenact Lisa's faint is quite funny -- just because I have never seen those sisters stay that close to one another for that long. Haha. Lisa told me she did faint and she actually was injured from it. I do believe her -- although I did give her a bit of a hard time about how perfect even her fainting is. I also made fun of her a bit to her face for wanting off the show way before Carlton's lunch that you will see in the next episode.

Yolanda, Lisa and I have a lunch out back at Lisa's home. The setting couldn't have been more beautiful. During our lunch Lisa takes a few digs at Kyle (again) and a little dig at me about needing puzzles to help stimulate my brain. For a second, until Yolanda laughed, it was a little uncomfortable because Lisa'a digs towards me are becoming more regular and starting to slightly annoy me. Poor Yolanda, although she looks beautiful, she is still feeling pretty rotten. She and her family are always in my prayers.

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You may have seen my recent appearance on Watch What Happens Live where Mr. Andy Cohen tells me that (unbeknownst to me) my name came up at The Real Housewives of Miami reunion. WTF! Ugggh!!!

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I have met most of these women only once and consider them friendly acquaintances -- but I don't actually know any of them personally other then Lea Black. As we all have seen from watching RHOBH, last season Yolanda said that fidelity wasn't her ex-husband's strong suit, but that she and her ex have both happily moved on in their lives and now have a wonderful relationship that focuses on raising their beautiful children together. Given my own personal past, I am extremely sensitive to all thing infidelity and will always stand tall and have a friend's back.

Yolanda and I had both heard that this woman from RHOM had an affair with her ex during their marriage. While at a Bravo party this other woman started to walk up to me -- and when she saw Yolanda turned and ran the other way. (We walked away as well.) We both thought it was very telling. Later in the evening, when one of the RHOM women asked why I was avoiding that certain person I simply said "I don't want to be friends with a woman that sleeps with married men" and motioned towards Yolanda. That was all that was said. I was simply being a loyal friend and that was it. Later hearing Yolanda's ex joke with Lisa and I about the odor situation, I assumed it all to be true. I don't expect Lisa to back me up on this because of our current rift and her closeness with Yo's ex -- but it is the truth.

While I know this is not my business to be involved in, I was inadvertently brought in and just trying to be a loyal friend. Of course it's Andy's job to ask all the hard questions. I wish my name hadn't come up on the Miami at all, but it did and I was truthful in my answers. Anyhow Yolanda has asked me as of now to no longer comment on this subject, and I will respect her wishes because she is trying to stay focused on getting her health back on track. So as of now if you ask me anything about this subject (yes, even you Andy Cohen) I will decline to answer. I think we all know I am a little passionate about the subject of infidelity because it hits very close to home for me. . .I have little respect for men that cheat and the women that they cheat with and that will never change.

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In closing, I will say for everyone's information I was the one who left Eddie because of his excessive cheating -- not the other way around -- but I hope one day to have a closer relationship with my ex-husband and his wife for our children's sake.